Discussion pages are post mortems for my stories, with notes about writing the tale, observations on what I think worked and didn't work, replies to reader mail, and more.  There are always massive spoilers on these pages, so it's a very bad idea to read these before the tale, since you'll find it confusing, not knowing what I'm talking about, and you'll also ruin most of the surprises in the the story for yourself.

 • The Magistrate Suit, Main Page.
 • The Magistrate Suit, Part One.
 • The Magistrate Suit, Part Two.

Notes on the Story

This story was written for Halloween 1999, and was a rush job, as usual for my Halloween tales.  I don't recall how much of an idea I had for what would happen in advance, and most of the actual mechanics of it came about as I wrote it.  My initial idea was to have a bit more of the sect, more of their mysterious rituals and strange rites. There's a fair bit of that right at the beginning, with them doing weird handshakes and stuff, but I got sick of it quickly.

This story was written well before D2 came out, and it's really a Diablo story, with nothing from D2 in it.  The character is a rogue, certainly not an Amazon, the monsters are acid dogs and Hidden, both in Diablo only, and nothing else in the story is at all in either game, it's all my invention, set in the Diablo world.

I feel the story moves a bit too quickly now, from the time they first see Klavaise to the end is like 6 hours.  I added in a bit of The Magistrate sneering at one of the Brothers in the pub, and them thinking they were facing potential financial ruin.  Which in theory made them more impulsive and willing to risk it all so suddenly with this mysterious thief. They probably figure that worst case scenario Chalaran is killed and they aren't directly blamed for it, which is okay, since they're considering an assassination already.

A lot of things are implied, and I don't know if readers grasp them all.  Obviously Klavaise goes to the most expensive inn in town looking for work, knowing someone there will want to hire her for something unsavory.  She throws the rock at the Hidden not so much on purpose, but more because she's been an actual adventurer, out battling monsters, and instinctively hates them. She's never been in the city before, and doesn't have any idea who Chalaran is, just some rich asshole with pet monsters.

As part of her backstory I was going to include something about her hatred for demons, as motivation for her death-defying acts, but that didn't make it into the final cut.

I had the idea in my early Diablo fiction that a light radius (which all characters have in the game) would be an optional thing. Obviously if you couldn't turn it off, you'd never be able to sneak up on anyone in the dark, and would be a beacon for every monster for 50 miles. In the game that's fine, but in a story in that world, it's unacceptable.  Being able to glow magically and see in the dark would be great at times, but you'd not want it always, and there is a moment when Chalaran couldn't get his light radius working that I thought was cool.

As to why he'd be out walking home alone late at night in a city he was so well-hated in... I should have put in something about city guards, as there would certainly be a bunch of them, in such a well-ordered city.  I think I was going to have Klavaise kill a bunch of them, or the Brothers bribe them to look the other way, or be elsewhere for a couple of hours, but in the hurry to get the story done there just wasn't time to get into all of that.

It's much more streamlined and pure with just the principles, and an empty city.  If it got into debates with the Brothers' sect hierarchy, and town guards, and bribery, and Klavaise's life story, it would bloat in size and scale far beyond a quick little gruesome Halloween tale.

What are the Brothers?

They are a monastic order, more like a cult, very rich and powerful, but one of many in the city. I was initially going to do much more about their organization, hierarchy, rules, etc, but there didn't turn out to really be room for that.  They have a strong business front, more like a guild, but bound by blood rites and oaths.

We tend to think of monks now as just a bunch of guys in robes living together, dependent on tithes or money from some associated church to survive, but from what I've read in history, there were many more organizations then, and they were often quite war like, or at least self-sufficient.  Now we get some monks or nuns running schools or selling CDs of their chants or artwork, but in the historical past they were often more like work cooperatives, with business and military fronts as well.  They'd exist by growing all of their own food and selling the surplus, or selling clothing they made, or wine they fermented, pottery, etc.  They were often war like, crusaders of a sort, not all of that non-violence and vows of silence/poverty stuff we tend to think of these days.

In this story they are more of a business organization, living together in cloisters, but very financially powerful, running sea trade, shipping lines, and also with some sort of magical abilities, beyond just their glowing light hands.

I was going to do more on their customs, secret handshakes, rules about who can speak and when, etc, but it would have added too much length and been ponderous and inconvenient. And it wasn't at all what the story was about anyway.

The intentions of the Brothers are to use Chalaran's stamps and seals to enrich themselves.  They'll pretend that Chalaran is working with them, perhaps even living in their citadel after taking suddenly ill, and issue declarations and proclamations (in his name) to prove it.  Only after setting themselves up with numerous advantages would they reveal that he's dead, or probably try to frame some other powerful organization for his murder, trying to get the suspicion off of them.

They should have had more consultation with others in their order, especially before the final push into Chalaran's office.  There's only one surviving Brother at that point who even knows what's happening, unless he's said some things to the others while Klavaise is at work in the dungeon, but it doesn't look that way, given that the two in the morning aren't aware of what's happening.  So what if Phillip gets killed, as he might well be, with a dozen Hidden on his heels at the end?  The sect would know nothing, other than what they could figure from the skinned corpse, dead acid dogs, and missing Brothers. 

The problem is that it's already long for a "short story", with so many events happening in such a short time, all of them with somewhat complicated reasons behind them. If I took more pages to detail conferences between the other heads of the Emerald Sect it would be away from the focus of the action of the story.

What are Hidden and Acid Beasts?

Hidden and Acid Beasts/dogs aren't in Diablo II at all, which is a shame since they were two of the coolest monsters in Diablo.

Acid beasts were basically dogs that spit acid projectiles at a very high rate.  They are a terror in the game, capable of stun locking your character, especially when you found a boss pack of them.  Obviously I took some liberties with them in the story, making them less savage.  In the game they can spit full potency acid indefinitely, but that seemed ridiculous, so here it's more like they make some acid in their stomachs, and can spit it at varying concentrations.  If they make it strong enough to dissolve steel, then they'll run out very quickly, so they tend to mix the poison with saliva, so it's not as pungent.

I should really describe their spitting more in a magical way in the story, since I see clearly these big glowing yellow/green balls, like in Diablo, but someone just reading it without seeing that would envision some slobbering dog spraying saliva sort of like something from Aliens, which isn't at all the concept.

Hidden are very cool in Diablo.  They were indeed invisible, and only appeared when they had closed in on you and were about to attack.  They had a very fast hit, and would run away and go invisible and then heal up once they were injured, and only became visible at close range.  It was quite easy to be in a cleared area and open a door, and then find yourself totally surrounded by them seconds later.  They looked very cool also, fat and very bent posture, with huge flipper type hands and long arms and weird, funnel-shaped heads, like just bulging eyes and then the face drew to a point below.

Exactly how Chalaran controls them isn't explained, and I really don't know.  He's not some sort of animal Necromancer, with the ability to mind control the creatures.  And Hidden are semi-human intelligence anyway, while the dogs are just like guard dogs/animals.  I never really thought about it at the time, they were just his servants, and he was their master.  Made him seem evil to have such hideous things for pets.

Some day when I rewrite this to novella length, I'll explain that, have more of Klavaise's history, more about the sect, etc.  Don't hold your breath for that though.

Klavaise's History?

Klavaise's back story is interesting, and I wished more of it had gotten into the story.  My concept for her, which was one of the first ideas in the story, was that she was a rogue, a high ranking one, who was thrown out by the leadership, and obviously tortured horribly.

I'm not sure why they'd let her live in exile, rather than killing her.  She doesn't seem to harbor many thoughts about revenge either, which is also odd.  Perhaps her mother was a leader and they couldn't kill her, or in their custom it's more horrible to be left alive with a mangled face and body than to be killed cleanly.  Anyway, as she says, torture with healing potions can be incredibly extensive.

Healing and magic and such is always hard to deal with in stories, since if any character can just click a belt potion and be good as new, that makes for a boring story.

I had ideas at the time of doing more stories with Klavaise, perhaps making her a recurring character and having The Further Adventures of sort of sequels.  It might happen, but hasn't yet.   I think she'd actually be a lot more secretive about it, and wouldn't just blurt it out to the Brother, but I wanted to get it out and the story was going fast, so there it was.

Klavaise's Fate and Sequels?

The main question was what happens at the end.  I'm not sure, and it's not meant to be explained in the story, so if you were wondering, don't feel dumb.  I had a number of emails asking about that.

um I didnt get the ending at all! did the rogue have the Hidden kill the sect or did the hidden kill the rogue?

A common sort of question, obviously from a younger reader.  And younger readers are generally unhappy with ambiguous endings, ones that leave things to the reader's imagination.

The concrete details are that the Hidden guarding Chalaran's house were stupid, but not so stupid as to not be suspicious.  So after their master returns home, looking somewhat different and smelling oddly, not talking normally, they weren't bold enough to attack him, but they were suspicious enough to follow him when he left. And they are clever enough to stay back a bit, trying not to be noticed. As the blind guy hears, they are never more than a step away, and now they are many yards back.

As to how they can go around in the broad daylight and remain invisible (no shadows?) I'm not sure, I thought of that writing it, but just didn't want to deal with the issue of their supposedly light-sensitive eyes.  Maybe they are okay in the light if they are invisible, but if they go visible, as they usually do to attack, the light hurts them?  Which explains the one in the alley being so overwhelmed, but doesn't explain what they think they'll do in the ending, if they do decide to attack, knowing if they uncloak they'll be blinded and helpless.

I don't think Klavaise would remain ignorant of them following her for long, she's too savvy.  She'd hear them, or smell them, or something, though the Brother wouldn't have a clue.  However Klavaise needs to get her payment for the dirty mission, and she can't do that if all of the brothers are dead.  My first thought was that she'd just lead them into some building and bail out a window, taking enough of Chalaran's records to sell for a profit.  Or maybe she just grabbed loot from his house while she was there, after all, he'd have a safe and jewelry and such lying about, and she certainly would have gotten info about that from him during the torture session.

However she's a basically honest and noble person, when dealt with fairly.  She'll hire on to kill just about anyone for any reason, but if her employers don't screw her over, she'll remain loyal to them.  For example bringing out the records from Chalaran's office, rather than just taking his gold and abandoning the Brothers entirely.

Hmm, this is making me want to write a sequel just to explain what she does to myself.  It never counts if I just think about what characters might do, I have to actually write it, since often things work out different than I'd planned, and I think of better ideas for plot twists as I'm going. Perhaps she's got grander schemes, and wants to rule over the city for a time, growing far richer than she could from some quick theft.  

A few quoted emails, from around the time I wrote the story.  There were lots of others like this:

"That was one cool story, i'll keep checking back to see if there are any more. I just wanted to tell you that I thought it was awesome!"

Those are nice to read, as the author, but of no interest to anyone else, and they seem way too masturbatory to post here.

The one thing i dont get is if she could see the hidden in the beginning of the story when it was walking with the magistrate then u'd think she'd see a lot of em behind her in the end? and if the blind guy could hear em so could the rogue ya know? oh yea the only part i didnt like was when the guy was getting turned on by looking at that chicks body all nasty and fucked up! that was kinda gross! shaved snatch and all! ugh! any way i hope u right a lot more stories!"

Funny, that's the part I liked best.

I finally had time to roam through the stories in The Dark Library and was very impressed after reading your stories, "A Paladin's Lesson," and, "The Magistrate Suit." Both of which sported some excellent representations of actual in-game battle between characters. I was just wondering if you have any more stories on the way.

Thanks,
Steven Butt

P.S. Let me take a wild guess, but you probably plan on playing the necromancer a lot when the game eventually ships.

I had no real Necromancer plans, and didn't end up playing him much, actually.  Just because I like weird stories doesn't mean I wanted to play the gothic poseur Necro, does it?  Or perhaps I missed my true character calling.

Other mails were along the same lines, or just said how much they liked it.  It's nice to hear from people who appreciate my work, but I tend to pay more attention to mails that have specific points, or especially if they didn't understand or agree with something, or a character's action.

If you'd like to add your deathless comments to the above, you can mail them here.

All site content copyright "Flux" (Eric Bruce), 2002-2007.