Not Buy Ticket!
This film had a
catastrosphic first teaser trailer, in terms of fan interest, and while
the later trailers improved a bit, it never got interesting enough to
entice Malaya and me to go see it. We'll probably check it out on DVD
though, and since I blogged about it a few times, you can now read those
blog entries here, and wait for the future review.
The movie got mediocre
reviews (63% positive),
did pretty good box office the first week out, but dropped like a stone
the second week and looks likely to have very short legs, with only
middling international prospects. Not that any of us really care, since
I doubt any of us have money invested in the success or failure of this
film.
March
13, 2004
On the other extreme of
geek fan reaction, we've got the new Will Smith vehicle, I Robot. The
trailer was just released, it's pretty mediocre, and the fan boys on
AICN are in a
fever of disgust at the bad CGI on the robots, and Will Smith's
insipid smirking and giggling.
That was perhaps
the most depressing trailer I've ever seen.....
Will Smith has CLEARLY fucked this movie in the ass. "It's a
can opener for God's sake!" THAT is only one fuckin line that
couldn't have been in the script before he got involved. And fuck me,
if those Robots looked any shittier, CGI would have to be outlawed.
This movie is going to be even gasher than Van Helsing. And I never
thought that was possible.
Wild Wild Robot
Yes, this will be one of the biggest flops of the Summer. What a
disappointing turnout for an Asimov story to get "sugared
up" by a pathetic Will Smith. This lame-looking movie will never
sell. Why do they always make Sci-Fi movies within our lifetime? 2035
is too soon. Kiss your career goodbye Will Smith...you are now
box-office poison.
I can picture the
Will Smith music video right now. Legions of I-ROBOTS dancing behind
him. Will doing the robot rap dance. Oh how excitingly cheesy
I got an advance copy of the will smith song - "We got the
I-ROBOTS. They're bustin loose! It started a war! We tried to call a
truce, but no go, I-ROBOT's in control O! Chorus - I-ROBOTS in control
dance all over the wall, I-ROBOTS in control dance all over the floor,
I-ROBOTS in control dance all over the, uh oh! call security! I-ROBOTS
wanna scary you!
This movie is all
wrong...
Having read I, Robot a couple of times I was really looking
forward this film. I, Robot is not an action-packed
explosion/fight-fest. It's a much calmer, thought-provoking set of
stories - more akin to an old fashioned detective tale than a Men In
Black sequel. I had hoped this would have turned into this years 'Bladerunner'.
From the trailer though it appears to have no air of mystery,
intrigue, danger and surprise. I've nothing against comedy in films,
but if you mix comedy with killer robots, along with a B-rate actor
you're likely to end up with an abortion of a movie. Another science
fiction movie falls by the wayside due to cheap, quick-thrills,
effects laden, poor storytelling! It's a real shame money talks louder
than talent.
It goes on and on, post
after post, by the hundreds.
But seriously, what did
they expect? I mean it's Will Smith. Apparently he did some real
acting in Ali, but no one saw it and no one cares. In every other
movie he made since he became a star he's been Will Smith playing Will
Smith. Sort of the black Tom Cruise, back before Cruise started
actually acting, when he was just a pretty, tooth-gleaming, smirking
himbo. Thank god Cruise never thought he was a rapper or dancer,
at least.
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