There are at least two dozen interesting mails to post, but since there are so many I'm going to be very choosy and just post 10 or so that are interesting, and that I didn't post any of on the site at the time.  So even if you read the blog every day in February, all the mails and comments here should be brand new to you.

Mails are presented chronologically.

This first one is insane and scary, but skim it anyway, if only for the graphics.

Date: February 4, 2003
From: Doom-Black Time-Train races into Hell with entire Mankind.
Subject: Sign from God

Signs from God. The Messiah comes. We have the end of the World http://www Signs from God. The Messiah comes. We have the end of the World and already 3th Worldwar. The Mankind faces the Doom and as well the biggest ever experienced Holocaust. Each second Humanbeing ends up in the Pond of Fire. If the Messiah is not comming now (Jesus Christ, Son of God, King of the Jews), God will come as Devil-and Germany brought the entire Mankind into Hell. Owing to the Brandenburger Nazigate in Berlin every Human will be punished as hard as Adolf Hitler. That means Hellforever:Final Solution (Endloesung) Everyone who doesnt call Mankind into Paradise has got at least the same much Guilt and Dirt at putting like Adolf Hitler an will be punished just as hard. The USA was sworn in to the Bible and is liable with the Final Solution (Endloesung) Death on the Cross forever- The one who supports Wholesolemurderers and Traitors- like especially the USA and other Countries did towards Germany-will be executet as Wholesalemurderers and Traitors and sent to the Pond of Fire. Laughing Third Persons are even hardest punished by God. Jesus Christ is a Diamand,is our Redeemer-can release us from the Guilt and save entire Mankind from Downfall. You must get youself the Diamond. Otherwisely you may never enter Gods Kingdom. The Diamond is more prescious thanall Wealth af the World-And this Earth will leave Luzifers Kingdom ,the Evils Outer Space Hell Becouse Earth belongs to God,and Man is Gods Image-Words are stronger than all Weapons of the World- The Word remains. Then the Earth and Heaven are already gone. The Messias comes only if the Gospel is spread Worldwide and we have got a Rid of the forbidden Appletree with the Snake. And all Christians which pay Homage to the Lord and fulfill God`s Will can enter Paradise forever and step to Gods Glory. Signs from God is for everybody the last Key to Paradise, and thus very prescious-not to pay with Money and the last Path to Paradise for the entire Mankind. The Brandenburger Nazigate in Berlin is the Hellgate of Mankind and must be pulled down immediately Germany turned withe the Brandenburger Nazigate Got to Devil-Germany is therefore Nation of Kain and High Treason and brought the entire Mankind into Doom. Germany has got the Worldpower to bring the entire Mankind into Hell, if there is no penalty fer the second Worldwar and the Brandenburger Nazigate in Berlin continues to be there. Since the USA bombed the Craddle of Mankind (The Gulf-War USA and Irak),is the entire Mankind condemned to Hell.When God`s Children are getting bombed,pays the Mankind with the Eternal Penalty. That includes also the USA. The Irak is the Craddle of Mankind, Tigris Euphrat the Beginning of the Bible. Adam and Eve. The one who`s the Worldpower Number 1- as it happens to the USA-has got the Main Responsibility for the whole Mankind and is liable now even with the Final Solution. Death at the Cross- Hell forever. If the USA belief that they could make War ontheir own account- then they have to count with the eternal Punishment. The USA bombed once before the Craddle of Mankind (1991 Irak) and is already condemned to Hell. But for to make a War needs the USA the Permission of God himself. Which will never be grandet. Sign from God is no Advertising,but a Message and is reputed for entire Mankind. Jesus Christ-a Diamant- is our Redeemer, can release us from the Guilt and save Mankind from the Fall! Germany has got the Worldpower to bring the entire Mankind into Hell if the Brandenburger Nazigate in Berlin is not pulled down immediately and if there will hot be atoned for the second Worldwar. The USA must be careful that they dont come into Hell completely in becouse the reunion of Nazi-Germany. Who Protects Wholesalemurderers and High Traitors like the USA did for Decades, will be executed as Wholesalemurderer and as one guilty of High Treason and ends up in the Pond of Fire. The USA raised Nazi-Germany and is liable now for the reunited Nazi-Germany. Germany made an Oath to God and the Leader of the Nazis. That means everything what Germany does falls back to God-Germany caused with that its own Sentence. Which is Death on the Cross and Hell forever. That is now reputed even for entire Mankind. If it would be up to Germany the Mankind would be in Hell already and lost forever. Hence The Mankind must be called now into Paradise. Before a War even takes Place. Anything else means Wholesalemurder and High Treason. The condemnation for that is Hell forever. The USA have got now the Mainresponsibility for the entire Mankind, and with it also for Germany. The one with the biggest Power must also account for it to God. So the USA is liable for the Final Solution Death on the Cross Hell forever. http://www.zevo.de

Just in case you hadn't seen enough ranting insanity lately?

I hardly know where to begin with this one. The MS Paint quality of the graphics is jaw-dropping, and how about the semi-random capitalization?  How about the sender name, "Doom-Black Time-Train races into Hell with entire Mankind." You suppose he uses that on all of his emails?  I mean like including ones to Amazon.com to order some Star Trek figures, or his mom to ask for another loan?  How about the imaginary compound words?  I mean come on, "Wholesalemurderer" is just brilliant.  Insane, but brilliant.

Why I was singled out to receive this mail is a mystery, but it came to dog@blackchampagne.com, which I faintly remember putting on one of the article pages, but can't seem to find now. Whether someone was searching for weird key words involving "god" and found me, or it's some sort of spider gathering in likely addresses, I do not know.  It doesn't seem to be personalized to me in any way, but I find the whole thing fascinating.

Deeply insane people, paranoids or schizophrenics who are caught up in a detailed fantasy world are quite interesting.  More so when they are safely viewed over the Internet than when they are ranting about the Zionist Cabal while begging for fifty cents as they run a filthy squeegie over your windshield, but since this is the Internet, all is well.

_________________

Date: February 6, 2003
From: Angela Karensa
Subject: i have a similar site as blackchampagne.com... want to link to you

I noticed blackchampagne.com (Truths in Advertising) ranked #94 in Google for the keyword "2003 honda accords". I have a website that is a good match for your's and I think it makes sense for us to link to each other for 2 important reasons:

1 - It will be beneficial to both our users (most important!)
2 - The more links we both have pointing at our site... the higher we will both naturally rank in Google.

Google doesn't just analyze the number of sites linked to you, however... they also look at how relevant and "important' the sites are that are linked to you. My site, for example, is listed in Yahoo. This means that a link from my site will be weighted much heavier than links from other sites (you can read more on how Google uses Link Pop to determine rank here.)

I really think it would be in both our interests to link to each other's sites. If you're interested, please reply and let me know. I'll send you all the info you need and I'll get your info as well.

Thanks for your time... I know that this will be worthwhile for you and your site's visitors.

Angela

I thought it was funny that people have ongoing scams like this to try and increase their google ranking and traffic.  Obviously this is a bot-generated mail, being as I clearly have no intention of getting search engine traffic for "honda accord 2003" from my Truths in Advertising page.

The weirder part is to wonder why on earth that page and my #94 ranking was noticed by her bot.  I mean of all the pages on this site that talk about this or that, why that one, especially when the mention of an particular car type is so minor and unimportant to the overall page, and to my site in general?  Plus she doesn't include her page, so I can't check, but I would assume it's something to do with 2003 Honda Accords, or at least about cars, so she probably runs a bunch of google searches, and then mails all the sites from #50-100, or something like that, hoping to unit the bottom-feeders, while not coming to the attention of the bigger sites or Google itself, which takes a dim view of this sort of intentional ranking manipulation.

_________________

Date: February 7, 2003
From: CanibuzNy@aol.com
Subject: How To Contact Argentina Supermodel Inez?

How Do I Contact Argentina Supermodel Inez? 

Notice that the subject and body are not identical.  So someone actually typed in both of these, rather than just pasting, or having an email that inserts the body as the subject if it's left blank.  Or something. I find that evidence of extra care in his obsession sort of touching.

Of course the deeper question is why on earth he would think I know how to do this?  I do not think I have ever posted anything about Inez, nor do I know who she is, other than having heard the name as a model.  I certainly couldn't pick her out of a line up.  Not that the opportunity is likely to be afforded to me.

_________________

Date: February 5, 2003
From: Henry Zhang
Subject: hows it going...

sup flux anyway just wanted to write in to tell you that your stuff is great, hilarious and everything both on the the Diabloii site as well as your own. The only thing that i dont like is how you back to those damn flamers, or at you dont shamelessly taunt and make fun of them. If they cant take a joke, FUCK THEM. Those idiots have obviously after reading your work have had their so scrambled by intellectual writing so far above their knowledge base that the only thing they can do is respond through flames and this so called "moral outrage" that I for one have never experienced. I know this because thats how most people respond to anything that comes out of my mouth. There is only one way to deal with these people that is to taunt and mercilessly insult these people no matter how defenseless they are until they are able to take their place with the worst scum of society, the homeless and the French. So just keep that in mind next time you respond to flamers, remember everyone who doesnt like your thoughts is obviously just a 4 foot 6 midget with a Napoleonic Complex thats intimadated by your awe inspiring wit.

Always nice to get fan mail. I guess.

_________________

Date: February 8, 2003
From: James M
Subject: tiny pointless email

Hi Flux/Eric/Mr. Bruce,
I'm just sending an email to thank you for the site, which amuses (and sometimes even inspires) me on a daily basis. Your views on things certainly aren't always mine, but they're very often very close. Religion and music are two things I often read about, and you've written some great stuff on both subjects, as well as on politics, which is also on my "list of stuff to read about when bored".

I'm in truth only a whiny 17 year old, so my opinion doesn't really hold much water, but I can really relate to this (or at least I think I can):

"I wish I were more of a real person sometimes. Less prone to solitary contemplation and more motivated to engage in actual human interaction, with all of its positive and negative consequences it entails. But it's so much easier to just continue on as I have been, for the last few years, putting off everything, planning to begin living a real life once I have the money to do so, as if money would really change my personality, and as if I'm doing anything to obtain said money."

Of course, I have my parents to support me at the moment, but I'm not really trying too hard for a job; I don't care about having a car, money...not yet. Anyway, I won't bore you with details.
I just decided to tell you I was effected by your words.

I hope to see many more columns; but if they stop some day, I promise not to curse you (too much).

I thought this was a nice mail.  You never know what offhand remark is going to really resonate or touch another person.  This isn't an offhand remark by me, but anyway.  And it's funny that in the month since I wrote that and am writing this, how different I feel, due to a developing romantic interest.

_________________

Date: February 9, 2003
From: Malaya
Subject: Symbolism in Storytelling

Hi Flux,

I'm working my way through BlackChampagne.com and your short stories reminded me of a few of questions:

Do you consciously employ the use of "symbols" in your fiction writing? Do you discover upon rereading it that a certain element in your story has symbolic implications, although you may not have intended that in the first place? As an author, how do you feel when someone reads something into your piece(s) that you never intended to convey in the first place?

During college literature classes I was always intrigued with how four students could come up with multiple interpretations of an author¹s story. "No, Shakespeare really meant *this* when he used the symbol of..." It made me wonder what the author really intended to say.

A writer friend says after she writes a story, in essence it belongs to the reader; they are free to interpret it how they wish based on the context in which they are reading it. Many times the symbolism in her stories emerge subconsciously. Personally, my academic writing leaves little room for symbolism and I don¹t write enough fiction to form an opinion.

I love to talk about my writing, and writing in general, so mails like this just light me up.  In answer to her question, I don't *really* do symbolism that much, at least not intentionally.  I think that a lot of the time when something in a book seems symbolic and clever it's the reader inserting their own ideas over whatever the author wrote.  And whatever they think is so clever is probably just in their heads, or a happy accident.

Obviously writers do use symbolism at times, usually pretty blatantly with one character representing some larger theme, or the whole work being some sort of allegory for something in society.  I'm not generally that type of writer though.

As further email conversation revealed, Malaya was asking about Lightning Machine, which she said gave her a lot of odd thoughts and ideas, and she wondered if I'd written it to be intentionally mysterious or evocative, and if so what was my intention with it. I hadn't, and I didn't, but I wrote that particular story very quickly one day, right in the daily update, and much of it is a mystery to me, since I didn't have it thought out in advance.  And I don't know much more than you see in it now.

Malaya found that somewhat surprising, since she said that she, and most readers, like to think that the author is totally in command of his work and knows exactly what it's about and knows more about everything in it than he is presenting.  The mysterious enemy marauders in the story are very mysterious, both in their appearance and their disappearance, and as it happens that's due to me not knowing anything more about them than to me knowing about them, but keeping that info back to keep them mysterious to the reader.

If any of this makes sense.

And yes, this is the Malaya who has come to be my sorta online-girlfriend, and hopefully will become my real life one as well, though as of this writing we've just communicated online and through long phone calls.  This email was our first communication of any type.

_________________

Date: February 11, 2003
From: Azuth
Subject: Regarding Love

I have found that most people don't really describe love (at least my perception of it.) When most people talk about it, love ends up sounding like borderline obsession, ie. need to be around them, miss them always, everything reminds you of them. I have no idea how any 2 people could coexist if they felt this way all the time. Seems like eventually you would have a brain meltdown from emotion overload, much like all the psycho celeb stalkers out there. How can the greatest emotion of humanity be controlled by a base drive like obsession?

I agree that love usually starts out that way. But its not love in the beginning, its infatuation. I can remember having dozens of crushes in high school and college, and some of them were very powerful. But not one lasted. And I can't see having something that strong last forever (or 10 months if you're a celebrity.) I am now married, and in the beginning there was all the craziness. Now we have something I can actually cope with daily. I don't think about her 24/7, but I do think about her daily. I go out of my way to make her happy. And I disregard my happiness if doing so will promote her own happiness. To me, that's love in a nutshell. The absense of selfishness.

I've always felt that all of the romance stories that girl's read (*cough* soft porn) predisposes them to not be happy with love when it comes. What man on earth can keep up with the men in those books?

I'm rambling now, of course so I'll shut up now. Just my 2 cents. And if it's any consolation to you, I've been where you are now. After college I withdrew into my own little world of computers and books. Then I met my wife, and my life changed. I wasn't ready for the change 5 minutes before I met her. At the risk of sounding cheesy, some things are meant to be.

The updates on February 6th and February 7th (amongst others) both discussed love and what it means and what it does to people and my general level of skepticism about the entire business.  Those generated a fair amount of mail, with this one coming in a few days later, but putting a pretty good summation on things.

And his story is corny and sappy, and quite often true.  Maybe even for me, given how I think I might feel about Malaya at this point, and how much I've changed in the past month.

_________________

Date: February 11, 2003
From: Mike
Subject: News vs. Ramblings

Today you wondered:

I never know if people want more "Flux rambling about human psychology" or "Fux staying on topic with comments about odd news items", but since I get more emails about personal stuff, that might be an indication.

I, for one, am a big fan of both. Your ramblings are often interesting, and you frequently have interesting news links that I might otherwise miss. Today's example is the hiccupping thing.

Basically I can always do comments on news items, if I surf a bit to find some.  I do the ramblings on the human condition when I have something to say about it, and those are much more spontaneous and I can't really control it.  If I can't think of anything interesting to write about, then oh well.  I don't want to just say anything at all to fill space, hard though that might be to believe at times. *cough*

_________________

Date: February 12, 2003
From: Michael T.
Subject: CAP Religious Movie Analysis

I came upon a link to this most absurd site on your Links page.  My god, these are the most anally uptight conservative assholes I've  ever read about. Have you read some of thier reviews? Jesus fucking  christ! Most of them are full of so much religious bias that I find it  disturbing. Do these people actually exist? Do real people actually  have to talk to them? Holy shit! Why should God help the "poor"  children who wanted to see South Park, when God could be helping the lobotimized children of these people? These people should be taken out  of thier white-collar suburbs and beaten to a unrecognizable pulp with  a plastic cooking spoon. Apparently Star Wars should be stripped down  into an hour and a half long "Praise Jesus, not the Force!" Public  Service Announcement. I'm glad national disasters strike the home  towns where these Neanderthals live. That kind of thing brightens my otherwise abysmal day.

I profile the rather amazing CAP Alerts page on my links page, and it's basically a movie review site that does it all from a supremely-conservative (and delusional) Christian PoV.  I find it quite amusing, if a bit upsetting in the weirdness of the mindset.  The way they are so "holier than thou" in their bizarre ideas is what's annoying, and when someone that you think is mentally disturbed just smiles smugly and gives you a "I'll pray for you." type attitude, you tend to feel a lot of sympathy for the Romans and wish you had some lions and a coliseum of your own.

Michael gets a bit more annoyed than I do though, as the next mail will show. It gets ugly.

_________________

Date: February 13, 2003
From: Michael T.
Subject: Re: CAP Religious Movie Analysis 

I sent an e-mail to CAP, mostly about how they were pretty much full of shit. I felt they were'nt just trying to reveal the "truth" about film content, but also attempt to standardize everything to protect their precious children. It was a glorious flame of an e-mail, which they did not waste time replying to. I thought thier reply was as fucking hilarious as some of thier reviews. Here is what they say to me:

> "This website is absurd.

Opinion noted.

> Do you really think that everything should be
> Christianized just so you can feel safe about your children?

God does. Thinks everyone should be Christian anyway, that none should perish in the eternal flames.

> The MPAA 
> is responsible for rating movies based on their content, and setting up
> guidelines for what ages the films are most appropriate for.

No, they are not. I am. For my kids. And other parents are for their kids.

> Not 
> everyone in the United States is Christian,

About 80% are. Apparently. Or at least 80% believe in God.

> and we are entitled to see, hear and do

...whatever your parents deem is fit.

> whatever we want as long as it is logical

Logic has nothing to do with morality.

> and within legal 
> boundaries. 

Killing unborn babies for convenience is legal.

> The Christian faith is
> notorious for committing foul acts of violence and war. I.E The
> Crusades, burning people at crosses, and persecuting many people.

Men did that. Stupid and evil men. Not Christianity.

> Films 
> are for PRETENDING.

An influence does not have to be real to influence.

> If you want everything to be standardized by
> Christian mythology,

Christian FAITH. There is nothing mythological about it.

> (evolution is fact, saying otherwise is like
> saying 'The world is flat')

Then why is it called the THEORY of evolution? It hasn't been proven yet. And won't be.

> Another issue is why you feel the need to protect your children
> from "make believe" violence. If you cant explain to your child why
> these movies aren't real, and that the acts depicted in such films are
> wrong, then you have some serious parental problems.

The very serious problem is not mine in this part of your attack. Attend. But fasten your seatbelt.

Harvard educated child developmental expert Dr. Karen Nelson, Developmental Psychologist and Professor of Psychology agrees with me that entertainment violence can plant aberrant behavioral templates. The American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, the American College of Physicians, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry have agreed that violence in movies can anddoes beget aggression in youth. And God says so [1 Co. 15:33]. Professor
Nelson also agrees with me also that other negative behavioral expressions such as arrogance, rebellion, hatred [with which you seem to be filled to
the brim] in entertainment can plant behavioral templates as well. Further,Dr. Nelson agrees with me that *any* behavioral expression can be shaped by observation of behavior in entertainment, good or bad, and that aberrant behavior or change in attitude or coping skills caused or catalyzed by 
the influence of entertainment may manifest as an entirely different expression than that observed. You must understand that an implanted behavioral template can and often is indelible and does not have to manifest as the same behavior by which it was planted. The manifestation may surface as something entirely different than the observed behavior which implanted  it.

Want more? Professional counselor Doctor Larry Gilliam *and* Dr. Nelson agree with me that it would be unusual for even a 16 year old to be able to fully comprehend the consequences of his/her actions or to be able to fully separate fantasy from reality: that such capabilities do not typically plateau until the early 20s. How much more proof of the influence of such presences in and as entertainment do we need? Think of the issue this 
way. Did you *ever* get misty-eyed at anything you saw/heard in the movies?  Have you *ever* gotten mad or happy or sad or "energized" at *anything* you saw and heard on the big screen -- ever?

> The real evil is 
> telling people what they should or should not watch/do/say/hear.

I am not telling anyone they should or should not anything. I am telling your parents the truth about the content of movies so THEY can make an informed decision whether a film is fit for you or not. It is God that tells us of things we should not do. I just repeat Him. And if you don't like that talk to Him about it.

> In my 
> opinion, you SHOULD LET YOUR CHILDREN WATCH GRATITUITOUS VIOLENCE.

That is not your decision to make.

> Ya 
> know, give them a sense of what the real world is like; full of
> violence. 

It takes a lot more than exposure to filth in film to learn about and how to handle life's difficulties. You have not been there yet. By no fault of your own you cannot know.

> Most of this violence is fueled by religious hatred,

And by what research method did you come by that conclusion? Was it the very scientific guesswork method or the incredible word-of-mouth method?

> which I 
> blame on fundamentalists like yourselves.

And a comment like that says a lot more about YOU than it does us.

> If your kids are too
> inbred and brainwashed to realize they shouldnt be participating in
> acts of violence, then maybe you should stop having children and
> castrate your selves.

Now I have a better idea of your likely age stratum. And mentality. And personality.

> This would save me and 99% of the country (yes,
> you and your uptight conservative Christian kind account for less than
> 1% of the total population)

Wrong again. You REALLY need to do more research.

> a whole lot of time. Please kill your
> children and stop spreading your idiotic and false ideas to other
> people. 

Now I have heard it all. You would wish death on children to make life easier for you?

Comcast does not like such vile use of their private property. "You agree not to use email to send any message or material that is unlawful, harassing, libelous, abusive, threatening, harmful, vulgar, obscene or otherwise objectionable or that encourages conduct that could constitute a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability or otherwise violate any applicable local, state, national or international law or regulation "

Also, in accordance with their acceptable use policy:

"Continuing to send email messages to anyone that has expressly requested not to receive email from you is considered to be harassment."

You are directed to send us no more email. If I see one more piece of email in our inbox from anyone using Comcast's service or hints of being instigated by you through another ISP, the original of this mail in which you ask me to kill my children will be forwarded to Comcast for official action. Typically, ISPs simply shut down the offender's account but occasionally they have notified the parents of the offender. In one case, the State Police visited the offender."

 

Man that was hilarious. I especially like the fact that he automically assumed I am a child. This implies (to me atleast) that he thinks all non-Christians are somehow inferior, and denotes them as children with thier "childish" beliefs. This person is spending a disturbing amount of time worrying about his children. He seems obsessed with them. Someone nees to protect his children from him. I love how he reacted to "Go kill your children." I really have nothing to say about it, other than that it was hysterical. I am disheartened I can't send him a hilarious reply on why he's even more so full of shit, but since I share this ISP with 5 other people I must decline myself that opportunity. It must have taken him an hour or two to compile all that "evidence." Thats an hour he won't get back. This fills me with a global sense of satisfaction. While I did waste time writing the original message to him, my time is wasted every second of everyday that I am alive, so no loss to me. What really amuses me is that when they are busy protecting thier children from the boogie man on the silver screen, the real monsters (or entertainers, as I'd like to think of them, but I'm extremely perverted and fucked up) of the world throw a small pox gas bomb into thier white collar sub urban homes. Then I think of the irony. The Muslim and Christian extremists. One is 
trying to protect thier children from movies thus from becoming mindless killers, while some of the Muslim extremists are mindless killers who condemn western entertainment and culture.

Goddamn this world is hilarious.

This whole thing fills me with rather mixed emotions.  While I think the CAP Alerts guy is mentally unbalanced, I think he scores most of the points in the email debate.  Sure, he's essentially working from a script since he must get a ton of mails like this one, and he's had time to work out a standard method of replying, but he does it pretty well.

I'm tempted to weigh in on some of the points, like his "why do you think they call evolution a THEORY?" since that's just an utterly ignorant remark.  It's called the "Theory of Gravity" as well, does that mean if you choose not to believe in the overwhelming scientific evidence behind it you won't fall on your ass if you leap out of a tree?  "Theory" is just a scientific word for something that's the best we know now, based on all the available evidence.  And what if scientists changed it to "The Fact of Evolution"?  It's not as if CAP Alerts guy here would change his stance on it based on the new nomenclature, which entirely invalidates his comment, if it had any validation to begin with. 

Anyway, I don't know if there is any way to debate a guy like the CAP Alerts guy.  He is immune to any logical debate since he's so wrapped up in his insular world, and will simply choose to ignore or not hear or dismiss anything that doesn't match up with the conclusions that he has arrived at.  That's one of the great strengths of "faith".  If you believe in something and no science or fact or evidence will change your mind, you'll never lose an argument. At least not in your view. Love is blind, but faith is blinder.

_________________

Date: February 13, 2003
From: Steve
Subject: CAP

Hey there,

I first found out about the CAP Alert guy from the Brunching Shuttlecock's webpage back in August 1999. Back then he was pleading for funding so he could keep his silly ministry going. Unfortunately it looks like he got it, though it seems fitting that all of his sponsors are overly-evangelical or creepy in a televangelist-stealing-your-money sort of way. No, wait, televangelists that steal from foolish people are sort of soothing in an odd way. But anyways...
I wonder how the CAP guy would rate stories from the Bible. I mean, the guy doesn't like wonton violence, sex, hate, offense to God, or murder, yet most of the stories deal with just that. I'd like to see how he explains the dirtier aspects of the Bible, or even how he explains the nicer aspects while dancing around the bad parts that they have to be compared against. Heck, I'd like to see him explain Christ's crucifixion without going into the violence, hate, offense to God, etc. stuff. I'm very much afraid for the CAP guy's children who are probably forced to watch nothing but Veggie Tales, Powerbook, and who knows what else.
Anyways, I'm getting carried away with my ranting. I enjoyed your black champagne site and I'm looking forward to the next decahedron. Keep it up!

Yes, another unrelated mail about the CAP Alerts site just a day later. Funny how things happen. I don't think I've ever gotten an email about CAP Alerts in the year+ this site has been open, and here I get 3 from two people in 2 days.

I wonder how the CAP Alerts guy takes it that his site infuriates and angers so many people?  I suppose it just deepens his conviction that all the rest of us are godless heathens consumed with hatred and jealously for his pure mind?  I really feel sorry for the guy, personally.  He's so small-minded and delusional, and I wonder what sort of trauma he endured in his life to feel a need to so completely retreat from reality.

_________________

Date: February 13, 2003
From: Attila
Subject: 1st letter

Hello Flux! ( i looked for ur real name, but couldnt find it.)

1st of all great job. 2nd sorry for spelling mistakes, i tend to get rather confused when it comes to english.

i check ur site more often the i check my emails. this means u better post ur reply instead of sending it to me.

few words about me. so u know who i am. nothing important u can jump over and check if u dont understand something later:

my name is Attila (Jess for most, a mixture of jesus, cos my hair, and jessica, my made up name i published poems with, untill someone found out and a hole bunch of people laughed about it.)im from Hungary. (i realy hope u know where that is, if u didnt at first plz tell that. no amirican knew it in my full 2 years of time spent there. (San Diego) one asked if it was an island.)

Im 19, just about to graduate, i wanna learn Arkitekture in Germany Stuttgart. Thats where i spent year 2001/2002. With some people from the Us, Panama, Indonesia, and Japan...etc (oh and italy, italy is great.) My dream is to become a part of the game industry. Blizzard if possible. As creative manneger. :) i do have ideas of sertain calibere right now. Both hardware, software, and some for backup stories. I write for fun. Fantasy, diary, poems. love stories. and i have cool pictures. mostly not drawn due to lack of time. but i have them here in my head. My girlfriend is Eszter..

For ur where i come from cullom:
i saw ur link at the d2 site. I wrote u on that adress. u never answered, but i loved ur articles. so i figured ill check ur hompage. its realy cool. (cool is just a bad word, with no meaning...) its intersting. news are realy news. they tell stuff i didnt know. And comments are siple, funny. and they are not only wunderfull but good too.

i always wondered what ur life could be like. spending so much time with writing, computer. u do any sports? wanna get married? just one thing. Grab a tought write 50 pages about it publish it and enjoy money. (if u are still trying to decide what genre it should be, well modern. avantgarde. Not fantasy, but not non-fiction either.) i read pretty much everthing u have up hear on the net. i guess u dont have to think when u write. u write ur toughts simply down. if u change ur mind u dont delete, and overwrite, but u rather go and say ohh well that might be wrong, giving it a second tought... and so on. its like Mozart writing music. never changing one sound.

yeah well u might not be Mozart. but u do have a natural style. Worth of reading. The type of style that makes u want to meat the author. thinking he must be the same in real life. (have u read the cather in the rye?)

so here is this real life thing. u ought to choose a topic u are good at. diablo??? or whatever that might be. If u have a topic craete a character tell us how he looks like. and explain why. by the time u get that far u have the ideas u need. and ill be the first to order the book. Actualy paying for it too. (hungary is a poor country tought.)

ohh yeah. talking of poor. ur site is not at all well advertised. Just like the d2 site no europian i ever met knew about any of them. (this or the d2 site, who garwulf, or the other writers are.)

i think its the only good thing diablo ever produced. (exept of the fact i lost like 10 kilos when d2 came out.count in that i was like 82kg then, 183cm high, doing sports often.)

Garwulf wrote an Artikel, i think about so often. one about how all films, music and books need less time to understand them these days. i think becouse most people are not educated well enough to want better stuff. Sorry to say so but mostly americans tend to have a bad taste for art. Most people beeing so so stupid when u ask them about clasikkal books.

at times like this when u read a book and go see who the author is on the internet. the fact u have a site with a diary is a +++ . I never go and look for good books. i look for authors and read everything they wrote if the style suits me of corse.
so strange i never get to write myself. parents can make mistakes im telling ya. even if they want u good.

got carried away. but thats more then natural. ull never get this far in reading anyway.

hope u reply. i might even get funny if u ever do.

ohh Taszar the airbase of the Us is like 8 kilometers from my house.

tought u might wanna know.

This is about the best email I've ever received. I love the enthusiasm and exuberance, flying in the face of all language difficulties.  The way he goes from one thing to another and from personal info to life goals and dreams, etc.  I wish I'd been so enthusiastic about anything when I was 19.  At that age you should be excited, enjoying girl/boyfriends, feeling like the whole world is your oyster, your future is unlimited, etc.

It's only later that you grow bitter and disillusioned and create a daily webpage from which to broadcast your misery and hatred of all humanity.  *cough*

_________________

Date: February 16, 2003
From: Apostolis Velkopoulos
Subject: none

"Humor, to mask the pain."

So true. So profound.
Know that sometime; somehow a Greek feels like you.

This is about my last comment on the page for the Feb 6th update, and he obviously knows the feeling.  Note that his mail came in 10 days later, so he was reading the archives, I guess.  At first I thought he was saying I was sounding like a Greek philosopher, like oh, Plato or Socrates or the like. But then I checked the sender info and realized the Greek was him.  And is that a Greek name or what?

_________________

Date: February 21, 2003
From: Jorthyf
Subject: Slang and "hacker speak"

I loved that section on AOLese. I never heard anyone call that annoying dribble by that term before, however it is very appropriate. One thing I think you should've added that section is the frequent usage of the terms "ur", "u", and the occasional "your". A good example of this is in the case of when a mental plebian tries to insult you by announcing "ur stoopit". What adds an ironic and humorous twist on this irritating convention is when you get the occasional person that says "Your stupid.". I laugh out loud (literally, not just my over frequent usage of LOL to express a snicker) when I see ignorant shit like that.

On the topic of "hacker speak" (though I have yet to recall any real hacker using this form of dribble without being sarcastic), a bit of obscure interesting background information. The term "roxor" (and of course the rest of its incarnations) is derived from the common name of a boolean logic gate, XOR. This gate stands for eXclusive OR. It works just like a logical OR except for the fact that it will only return a nonzero value (true) if one of the values is false, not both (unlike or).

Keep up the good work man, I've been glued to your webstie ever since I started checking more things out here and fail to find anything grossly inane or dull. I especially love the band name section comment about Kansas. I live in Missouri, and have been to Kansas my fair share of times. A running joke along the Missouri/Kansas border is about how horrible Kansas is. Funny how this doesn't happen here in St. Louis. No one around here mocks Illinois. What's even more amusing is that the citizens of Kansas never retaliate with their own Missouri jokes. LOL

Here's a couple: Why do all the trees in Missouri lean to then west? 'Cause Kansas SUCKS! ...or... Why do all the birds in Kansas fly upside down? 'Cause there isn't anything out there worth shitting on! 

I would point out that for the rest of the country, the difference between Missouri and Kansas is about 3 vowels, but that would hardly be kind.

_________________

Date: February xx, 2003
From: Joaquin
Subject: My First Time

My First Visit to Your Website

Hey man, I first visited your website after reading several of your excellent articles at diabloii.net. I returned out of boredom with my daily web-route, and now your website is part of my daily web-route. Great writing, keep it up!

Next, I will tell you how I lost my virginity. Please don’t tell my wife.

How I Lost My Virginity

The first time I got laid was at the age of 16, 28 years ago. My dad was stationed in Guatemala, Central America, and the local custom was for teenage boys to lose their virginity at any of several local whorehouses.

It was a Friday night and we were drinking beer (there was no drinking age minimum in Guatemala at the time) and some of my Guatemalan buddies shanghaied me and another American into visiting a house of ill repute known as “El Gato Loco” or “the Crazy Cat.” For the very reasonable price of $3.00 any horny male could pick out a skanky whore out of the Crazy Cat’s lineup, and take her for a 15 minute ride upstairs in one of the grubby bedrooms. Any more than 15 minutes and one of the chaperones (hem) would bang on the door that time was up.

Anyway, I picked out one of the younger-looking pros at the Crazy Cat and paid my $3. Clutching a rubber in one of my hands, I went upstairs with her and we made a beeline to one of the rooms. Closing the door, she immediately took off her clothes and lay on the bed. I took off my pants but to my chagrin and shame I could not achieve an erection. I was new at this, and I was scared that if I put my penis in this whore my dick would fall off later as a result of some unpronounceable disease that the whore would infect me with.

The whore was not new to this type of situation, however, and she proceeded to sit up and take my cock into her mouth. This encouraged my dick a great deal, and in a few minutes I was hard as a rock. The whore lay back and I got on top of her. She spit in her hand and applied the spittle to her vagina, a lubricant to replace juices that would probably never flow from her pussy again. Disgusting, I know, but at this point I would not be deterred. With the same hand that she applied the spittle, the whore grabbed my dick and guided it into her box. I pushed and when I was about halfway inside, I started cumming and cumming.

I got off her, and the whore got out of bed and fetched a rag and a bowl full of water from a corner of the room. Funny, I had not noticed them before. She dipped the rag into the bowl and scrubbed between her legs, then handed the rag to me. I wiped my dick, got dressed, and we both went back downstairs for another round of beer.

Romantic, huh?

Well, I'm ready to never have sex again.  How about you?

_________________

Date: February 28, 2003
From: Tom
Subject: Still?

On the side bar of blackchampagne you have NIN - Still listed for your cd player. I assume that you mean you still have NIN in your disc player because I am unaware of a NIN disc called "Still" (and I follow Trent pretty closely). If I am mistaken on this issue, I really hope you let me know. If I am correct, I would like to know which NIN disc you currently have in the 'ole disc player.

My music listening is pretty evenly-divided between mp3s (on the computer) and actual CDs that play through my stereo.  Most of the stuff on my MP3s are oddities or remixes or single tracks from various artists that I don't really like, other than maybe that one song. I've never used any of the Kazaa or Morpheus or Napster file-sharing systems, though I have gotten a fair amount of files from friends who do, so I suppose I'm just as guilty, if guilt must be assigned.

In this case the NIN is on MP3, and I don't know if it's been released as an album or what. The friend I got it from has it listed as Halo 17, and it's a remix collection mostly of Downward Spiral and Fragile songs.  The remixes are very introspective and quiet (and still) and are almost like jazz or classical remixes.  I like it a lot personally, and it's good for writing if I'm in the mood (That's writing fiction, where I need to really concentrate and have quiet music.  Writing blogs or say mailbag pages I can do with any sort of music.) I have one track of it the server if you want to check it out.  This is an atypical track, by far the fastest or most rocking or uptempo track of the 10.  It's for The Becoming. And remember, you didn't get that here.

That's it for the February mails.  The month was top heavy, with more interesting mails coming in the first two weeks than the last two, which was partially why I thought about doing February Mailbag Part I and II.  Perhaps in March, though the first 10 days of the new month have been a lot less prolific than February was.

If you would like to be included in a future mail bag, give it a try.

<-- January 2003 -- March 2003 -->
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