I keep expecting (hoping) that I'll start getting insanely furious protesting emails about something or other, but no such luck yet.  When/if I do I'll probably take up a strategy like Tom Tomorrow's, of posting the name and email of any idiot mailers, while doing normal mails just like I do now.  I'm not sure that would even help, it's not like any idiot can't go get a new @hotmail.com address in about 3 minutes, and use that to send flames with, but it would at least inconvenience any normal person who was ready to flame away, and decides to moderate their email since they're too lazy (or don't know how) to change the "reply to" line in their email client.

Date: May 9, 2002
From: Göran
Subject: That veird Swedish page.

The veird swedish page is actualy realy veird. It is a site full of irony, humor and stuff like that. I can really understand that someone that don´t understand Swedish, find the  page you looked at somewhat strange or disturbing and not sexy at all (it  isn't actualy).

Trust me it is extreamly funny, and it is not because of the pictures, it's  all in the text. It is a test of different women (non existing) from  different parts of sweden. So it is not a page for puberty boys at home in their privacy.

This cool mail was triggered by a link to some Swedish site with a picture of really awful breast implants.  I don't mean like these, I mean medically disastrous ones, with like ruptures in the flesh and blood and such.  It was quite gross.  I can't find the blog now, or the link, unfortunately.  I'd think it would be from early May or possibly late April, based on when he mailed, but no luck on the quick scan I just did.

Anyway, you know as much as I do about the site, and all I know is what Goran says in his mail here.  Apparently it was some sort of parody site, maybe like the gross picture with a "your dream woman" caption.  

________________

 

Date: May 17, 2002
From: Mike
Subject: Just one small point

"It's an interesting concept, though enormously over-generalizing, in typical American/Western fashion."

I like your site, and I even agreed, pretty much, with the point you made in this piece, but I had to laugh at that sentance...

Mike

The indented part is quoting from my blog, and I believe it's from this one, on May 18th.  The blog doesn't have this line now, and I really don't remember changing it, though I do recall getting this mail and reading it at the time, and laughing as I realized he had a point.  I must have felt motivated to go and change it slightly, since it's different now.

His point, if you don't grasp it (I didn't initially, as I recall.) is that I criticize Western civilization for making gross overgeneralizations, and that in itself is a gross overgeneralization.  Sort of a Catch-22 there.

Date: May 30, 2002
From: Tammy
Subject: Please help...

Hey. I'm in a debate with a friend over the meaning of the phrase, "Tossing your salad." I think it means eatin' ass. She's not sure of that. Please tell us what that really means...

Thanks a million. 
Tammy

I like that I'm now considered an expert on dirty slang, by dint of having a dirty slang page. At least I assume that's what drew her to this site.

As it happened, I knew what this phrase meant (she's correct in her supposition) but just to double check I searched around with the help of Google, and found this page with a huge listing of filthy slang terms.  Since the page appears to be sort of thrown up and may not be permanent, I've duplicated most of it here.

Date: May 30, 2002
From: MRS M. SESE SEKO
Subject: URGENT ASSISTANCE NEEDED

FROM MRS .M SESE SEKO

DEAR FRIEND,

I AM MRS. SESE-SEKO WIDOW OF LATE PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO OF ZAIRE, NOW KNOWN AS DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO (DRC).

I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER. THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING MY PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION. I ESCAPED ALONG WITH MY HUSBAND AND TWO OF OUR  SONS KENNEDY AND BASHER OUT OF DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO (DRC) TO ABIDJAN, COTE D'IVOIRE WHERE MY FAMILY AND  I SETTLED, WHILE WE LATER MOVED TO SETTLED IN MORROCO WHERE MY HUSBAND LATER DIED OF CANCER DISEASE.

HOWEVER, DUE TO THIS SITUATION WE DECIDED TO CHANGE MOST OF MY HUSBAND'S BILLIONS OF DOLLARS DEPOSITED IN SWISS BANK AND OTHER COUNTRIES INTO OTHER FORMS OF MONEY CODED FOR SAFE PURPOSE BECAUSE THE NEW HEAD OF STATE OF (DR) MR LAURENT KABILA HAS MADE ARRANGEMENT WITH THE SWISS GOVERNMENT AND OTHER EUROPEAN COUNTRIES TO FREEZE ALL MY LATE HUSBAND'S TREASURES DEPOSITED IN SOME EUROPEAN COUNTRIES.

HENCE, MY CHILDREN AND I DECIDED LAYING LOW IN AFRICA TO STUDY THE SITUATION TILL WHEN THINGS GETS BETTER. LIKE NOW THAT PRESIDENT KABILA IS DEAD AND THE SON TAKING OVER (JOSEPH KABILA). ONE OF MY LATE HUSBAND'S CHATEAUX IN SOUTHERN FRANCE WAS CONFISCATED BY THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT, AND AS SUCH I HAD TO CHANGE MY IDENTITY SO THAT MY INVESTMENT WILL NOT BE TRACED AND CONFISCATED.

I HAVE DEPOSITED THE SUM THIRTY MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUNSAND UNITED STATE DOLLARS (US$30.5,00,000,00.) WITH A SECURITY COMPANY FOR SAFE KEEPING. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO INDICATE YOUR INTEREST THAT YOU CAN ASSIST US IN RECEIVING THE MONEY ON OUR BEHALF, SO THAT I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO MY SON (KENNEDY) WHO HAS THE OUT MODALITIES FOR THE CLAIM OF THE SAID FUNDS.

I WANT YOU TO ASSIST IN INVESTING THIS MONEY, BUT I WILL NOT WANT MY IDENTITY REVEALED. I WILL ALSO WANT TO AQUIRE REAL/LANDED PROPERTIES AND STOCK IN MULTI-NATIONAL COMPANIES AND TO ENGAGE IN OTHER SAFE AND NON-SPECULATIVE INVESTMENTS AS ADVISE BY YOUR GOODSELF.

MAY I AT THIS POINT EMPHASISE THE HIGH LEVEL OF CONFIDENTIALITY, WHICH THIS OUR UPCOMING PROJECT DEMANDS, AND HOPE YOU WILL NOT BETRAY THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE, WHICH I REPOSE IN YOU.

IN CONCLUSION, IF YOU WANT TO ASSIST US, MY SON (KENNEDY) SHALL DEVULGE TO YOU ALL BRIEFS REGARDING THIS PROJECT, TELL YOU WHERE THE FUNDS ARE CURRENTLY BEING MAINTAINED AND ALSO DISCUSS REMUNERATION FOR YOUR SERVICES.

FOR THIS REASON KINDLY FURNISH US YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION, THAT IS YOUR PERSONAL TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER FOR CONFIDENTIAL PURPOSE AND ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL USING THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS.

YOURS SINCERELY,

MRS M. SESE-SEKO (JP).

I have received probably 30 versions of that one at the d2 site, and half a dozen here.  I was going to do some jokes about it here, but I'm far too late to jump on that bandwagon, what with the number of people who have already covered the territory in great detail.  This one is probably the funniest, where the guy starts trading photos.

I can't personally imagine anyone who would fall for this, but apparently people do.  Wired news item says so, anyway.

Among 10,000 Americans who reported being suckered by online hoaxes last year, 16 fell victim to an elaborate plot that pinged millions of e-mail inboxes: Nigerian letter fraud. Those 16 reported losses of $345,000, including two unidentified people who lost $78,000 and $74,000, respectively.

How can anyone have that much money and be so stupid?  Inheritance? Senility?

If you would like your mail to be included in a future mail bag, give it a try.

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