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Diablo II
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Mailbag, July 2002
Selected emails sent to the site in July 2002, with additional comments and perhaps even some humor here or there.

Away we go.

 

Date: July 2, 2002
From: Ryan
Subject: Kudos

I like your page a lot. It's very well done and you have a very well developed and witty style of writing. The frequency of updates is welcome too as it allots me something new to read over those long and boring midnight shifts doing my security job (comprised of sitting.... and more sitting... and surfing the internet... while sitting). In case it's burning a hole in your mind with curiosity (har!) I found your page through diabloii.net... I think. But now I check it frequently for updates. I realize from your updates that you don't have much time to play diablo 2 anymore, but maybe you should publish one of your realm names so people will recognize you when you come on.

It's always nice to hear from the readers, with good or bad comments.  Generally they are good, but I'm not adverse to constructive criticism. Just so long as I'm not blamed when whatever Ryan is securing is stolen while he's reading one of my page updates.

On his final comment, I do just the opposite.  I never post my realm names anywhere, and I have reduced my old account flux_diinet to mules only, and let others that had variations on "diabloiinet" in them delete, since I would get recognized when I played with them.  I don't really mind if someone knows who I am (other than the people who have tried to PK me since they "wanted to get a famous ear", as they said) but I don't want to seem to be trying to get attention or notoriety from the site.

The other reason is that people use my name, and the d2 site's name, to try to rip people off, or get free stuff. Here are a couple of examples in screenshots people sent in to me at the d2 site.  Neither one are us, obviously.

I asked a friend at Bliz to delete the diabloii.net account.  I hope the impersonator didn't have much stuff on it. *evil laughter*

________________


Date: July 11, 2002
From: HostSave Support
Subject: Re: Uploading Problems

Being able to go to other websites, or surfing ability has no bearing on the issue, each domain gone to has it's own unique network routing, determined by the network (connection provider) you are on. Your issue is with the routing /network trafficking of your cable provider to this site, at this time.

The FTP server only responds to requests, it cannot determine the speed of your transfer, that is purely the network connection/routing given to the server itself.

Hostsave Support

Here is a reply to a tech support mail I sent to my hosts.  It's typical tech support bullshit, using basic explanations of how the Internet works in an effort to throw off a person.  My actual question and examples were totally ignored.  Hey, what do I want for $8 a month, right?

The issue, which I mentioned in a blog at the time, was solely in my uploading to the server.  I could surf it fine, and download fine, but I was finding it impossible to upload.  I'd try, it would start and go at 8k/sec for about 2 seconds, then nose-dive to a crawl, literally 50bytes/sec, or something like that.  This made it impossible to upload anything bigger than about 25k, since it would always time out with like 18k uploaded in 30 seconds.  Uploaded files to a website aren't partially viewable, if you are wondering.  Images may be, but HTML pages that are 99% up aren't normal-looking, with just the bottom 1% missing.  It's all or a bad link error, there isn't any in between.

I could DL fine from the server, via browser or FTP, and I could upload fine to the d2 site and a friend's site, but not to this site. And it wasn't that I couldn't upload at all, I could do small things, just not bigger ones, since the speed would die after a second or two.

Anyway, this tech support's bullshit reply aside, the problem which had been awful to unusable for two days was totally fixed the afternoon after I sent this mail, so perhaps they got enough complaints that they finally looked into it and found some simple thing to fix.

 

________________

 

Date: July 16, 2002
From: CannonBalls
Subject: Hey Flux

Hey, in the upper-left hand corner, those rotating pictures, they're really awesome. I really dig those images you used, and I was wondering where you took those from, what paintings. Also - do you have any idea of an archive of those sorts of images?

I know these are sort of random questions, but I was just wondering...

The emailer here is interesting.  He mailed me at the D2 site, asking what the URL to my home page was.  The guy, Cannonballs, was a webmaster on another D2 site long ago, years ago.  He then worked on some other Bliz gaming sites, and may still, for all I know (I don't surf any of them other than the one I work on).  How he came to know that I had a site, but didn't know the URL, is a mystery.

I mailed him the URL, and he obviously looked around and this was his next mail.

He prompts a good point, that I should have some more info on the images.  I did have it mentioned on the site design page, but I've since added info about it a couple of other places, and put in links on the Site Map page.  There isn't any archive of them, but there is a different one on every type of page on the site, so you can just click the links on the nav bar and see them all quickly enough.

 

________________

 

Date: July 19, 2002
From: Jeremiah
Subject: yo man

Hey eric, my name is jer. I am in Oceanside and I noticed that you live in san diego. I would have called you but I decided that would not be a good idea cuz you might be sleeping. Anyway I play Diablo ii as well and wanted to say that its pretty cool of you to keep up on that stuff on the www.diabloii.net site. How long have you been playing? IF you don’t mind drop me an email back!

No offense to the mailer, but this is like my nightmare.  I put off getting a domain name for a long time since I knew I'd have to use my real name and information to register one.  Well, that's not why, the fact that it's very easy to look up the owner of any domain name is the problem.  Companies have a business address and legal people listed, so they don't care, but individuals usually don't have an office or lawyers to hide behind.

If you read my updates regularly, you can probably get a sense of how much I like to socialize with people in real life (as little as possible).  I get along fine with people at work, I just don't have any desire to see them any more than I do.  I talk to lots of friends online, I just don't have any desire to meet them in real life.  Yes, I'm lonely and miserable and a hermit and even when cute haircutters all but hand job me in the chair I let it slide.  All that being said, please, don't call me or come see me at my work.

That goes for everyone, I'm not in any way picking out this one emailer.

Now I have no objection to replying to emails and chatting about this or that, and it's possible that I'd go from that to meeting in RL, but there would be a considerable courtship beforehand.  So to speak.  I'll waste hours doing nothing online, but for some reason in real life I'm really selective about how I spend my time, and with whom.

 

________________

 

Date: July 25, 2002
From: Ryan Jones
Subject: Parkas

Dear Black Champagne,

Frankly I have no idea about Finland/Sweden/Norway's climate, but here in Canada we do not wear parkas for more than the normal winter time (Nov/Dec-Feb). Yes we do have cold winters as I live in the nation's capital and fairly far north but that is not to say that it is like that all year round. During the summer, believe me, it is hot as hell. Like 30-34 degrees Celsius and with the humidity usually goes up to around 40. That's hot enough to melt the candles on the shelves. I have no idea where Americans continue to get their ideas that Canada is a vast tundra with polar bears running amok. The truth is that in most inhabited areas of Canada the winter is no worse than that of New York or many other States. I usually enjoy your blog and usually find your writings inciteful and cleverly thought out but this is one of the few times when you are fostering an obviously faulty idea if you considered the georgraphy. Alaska isn't even cold all year round and look how mcuh farther north it is. I would have thought more of you than to just refer to a country so close to you as a solely parka-wearing nation.

Now this is the best email I've yet received here, but since I posted it on the site the day after it arrived, and discussed it then, I won't do that all again here.  Click this to read it in the August 29th update.  He mailed back a few days later, technically in August, but we'll post it here for continuity.

I just read the article you posted about my email and I will freely admit that you have a point and, judging from the past sarcastic and intentionally (I'm assuming) inaccurate info that you've posted, I should have taken it in jest. Looking back on the article I find it amusing, I guess I was just irritable that day. Also a factor may have been that I work in a tech support centre for a large computer company and all day long I hear employees telling me about the American customers they talked to (mostly from the deep south) making redneck assinine assumptions ("Y'all from Caanahdah? Y'all gotta bliz-erd up dar?") and amusingly scary actions like almost shooting their computer in a blind rage because they can't figure out where the power button is (I'm not kidding; actual quote: "Fuck this thang! Betty! Get mah .22!" *sound of gun cocking*). It wears down on your opinion of Americans after a while when that and the daily bullshit-rant from Bush is all you hear from south of the border. But I wasn't using Alaska as a sign that the U.S. is cold, I was just pointing out that if Alaska isn't cold all year round, neither are we. Anyways, I have a right-wingy conservatist the-bible-is-all-truth-believe-it-or-die feeling going through  me and I must purge this guilt from my soul. I think I'll go get drunk and attend a marriage ceremony for lesbian interracial midgets or something. 

Anyways, you win and it's true that Canadians usually do expect a certain amount of other countries poking fun at us. Plus, you can't expect a real spam from a Canadian. We're too polite. You'll notice I couldn't write a letter of objection without adding some compliments in. I have to go clean the snowmobile now. The fucking seal guts have jammed the motor again, eh.

He should have a blog, he's got more to say than I do?

 

________________

 

Date: July 28, 2002
From: Stephen R. Davies
Subject: Are you interested in selling BLACKCHAMPAGNE.COM?

We have an interest in purchasing your domain BLACKCHAMPAGNE.COM.  We are always interested in acquiring new domain names to add to our significant portfolio.  If you are interested in selling please visit our website below and enter your asking price.

Best Regards,

Steven R. Davies
Domain Acquisitions Dept.
Dompro Inc.
acquisitions@faster.net

Their site is here, and there's nothing to it.  Just a CGI page to enter your domain name, and other contact info. I assume this is an email they have a bot send out to basically every person on earth.  No idea what they would offer for the domain name here; it's not like anyone else has any use for it.  Maybe they just have a way to renew domains for very little money, so they squat thousands of them and hope that in eight years someone will want to make a movie that they happen to own the name dot com for?

 

________________

 

Date: July 30, 2002
From: Jimmy
Subject: Hey man

I just had to send this in because it is one of the
most bizarre editorials I've ever read. Don't even
ask how I ended up on the page.

The really bizarre thing was that I'd read that article elsewhere a couple of days before he mailed it.  I found the whole thing just really unpleasant, and also quite suspect. (Seems way too sensationalistic to be entirely true.) Despite those obvious bonuses, I still didn't post it on this site. Click the link in his mail and go read it now if you are so inclined.  It's about kiddy directed porn in the Amazon.

He had a couple of other good comments in his mail, but I posted both of them in the update on the 31st, so I won't repeat here.

 

________________

 

Date: July 31, 2002
From: space-elevator moderator
Subject: Invitation to join the space-elevator group

Hello webmaster@blackchampagne.com,

You've been invited to join the space-elevator group hosted by Yahoo! Groups, a free, easy-to-use community service. By joining space-elevator, you will be able to exchange messages with other group members, store photos and files,  coordinate events and more.

This invitation will expire in 7 days.

This is a weird one.  I recall posting about a news article on space elevators months and months ago.  They seem like cool things, though they are very much conceptual now.  The idea is to make super strong cables and stretch them to some sort of space station in low orbit.  You would be able to use some sort of elevator device to actually lift payload up the wire, and it would be faster and much cheaper than the rocket launches we have to use today.

Anyway, cool and all, but I posted about it in maybe May or April, and got this mail the last day in July.  Obviously I came up on some sort of search engine for them to mail me, but god knows how or why now.  I didn't reply within seven days, so now I'll never know.

 

If you would like your mail to be included in a future mail bag, give it a try.

<-- June 2002 -- October 2002 -->
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