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Mailbag, February 2002
So, the first full month, and with the site as of yet undiscovered by the masses (to put it nicely), the flood of emails is rather a trickle.

Since the whole point in a mailbag is to reply to common questions so you don't have to reply to 500 emails, this is more of a demo model.  It also extends into early March since the best two mails came in just now, and hopefully there will be more to pick from next month.

The daily posts go back to the last two days of January, but the site wasn't actually online until mid February, and I didn't get the email set up until a few days later.  The first three emails were me sending testing ones.  The first from another person came in Feb 21st.

 

Date: February 21, 2002
From: Gaile
To: fred@blackchampagne.com
Subject: test

hi, just testing.

g

Yes, a friend whose name begins with "G" who sent me a test mail after I requested it.  Fascinating, I know!

 

________________

 

The next mail was a reply from my hosts to me re: a comment I sent them about the method required to set up a "catch all" email.

Date: February 23, 2002
From: support@hostsave.com
To: webmaster@blackchampagne.com
Subject: RE:(blackchampagne.com)FAQ clarification

Dear Valued Customer,

Thank you for contacting HostSave Support regarding your domain blackchampagne.com.

Thanks for the suggestion, I will pass this information on to the editorial staff.

Thank you for choosing HostSave for your hosting and eCommerce needs. We appreciate your business as well as the opportunity to serve you.

Sincerely,
Thomas Kelley
HostSave, Support
Support@hostsave.com

Yes I know, can it get more interesting?  FYI, catch all email is set up on this domain, which means you can mail me at AnythingAtAll@blackchampagne.com and it will work fine.  The "AnythingAtAll" is meant figuratively, as well as literally.

 

________________

 

Date: March 1, 2002
From: Flux@diabloii.net
To: blahblah@blackchampagne.com
Subject: Testing

fjasdl;kfj l;aksdjfl;kj

Another brilliant example of a testing mail, this one from me to me.  My outgoing mail was screwed up the first two days of February since @home went out of business then and my new ISP, cox.net, didn't have their SMTP set up properly yet.

 

________________

 

Date: March 3, 2002
From: Michelle
To: webmaster@blackchampagne.com
Subject: Bubbly

Hi Flux,

Am not a horror fan (gives me the heebie-jeebies), but I've read some of your stories from The Dark Library. I did find some elements disturbing. Necrophilia. Humm. ;)

But I like that the writing is so honest. You dabble in (ok, focus on) sex and horror, even if within social constructs they tend to be kept hidden. It's not the most "pure" or socially acceptable, but the absence of pretentiousness is what I find unique. It's what makes me enjoy reading your stuff. :)

But bah, what do I know. :) 

Proposing a toast for blackchampagne.

The first real email!  Well, almost.  She is the GF of a friend, which is how she got referred to the site, so it's not like a person who happened upon it somehow all on their own.  I read a couple of Raymond Chandler stories many years ago, but have no real recollection of them now, either in content or style. Being as he's widely-sighted as an excellent writer, I'll have to scribble down his name on the back of my hand to look up next time at the library.

BTW, horror is supposed to give the heebie jeebies, I mean that's sort of the whole point. ;) 

 

________________

 

Date: March 3
From: DGray0505@cs.com
Subject: (no subject)
To: flux@blackchampagne.com

fuck you. you're a moron. who gives a shit about healing tatoos and your opinion on dirtbikes? dirtbikes are more popular than they ever were, plain fact. don't make me waste my time again.

What could he be talking about?  That's the funny part.  This article on AICN, and my reply to it in the talk back.  This was the first time I'd ever been moved to reply to anything on that site, (which is why I have that stupid "Eric X" name, about the first 10 nicks I tried were taken and I didn't care enough to keep guessing, so I just went for something that no one could possibly have gotten already)  and their talk backs are notorious for the illiteracy, trolling, and flame fests that erupt for any reason at all.  Which you'll see well-evidenced if you follow the above link.  I don't really recommend it though, here's what I said there, with the formatting restored (forum scripts that eat all returns, HTML, and markup are suxor):

Dirtbikes are so not cool

They just aren't. BMW motorcycles through Chinatown while handcuffed to Chinese secret agents are, at least until you slide under a helicopter in fake fashion. Dirt bikes leaping over big fake explosions are not.

Wouldn't having a huge XXX tattoo on the back of your neck sort of hinder the "secret" portion of secret agent? And if he's been one for 2 days, how is the tattoo already done, dry, healed, etc? Pointless questions I know, summer movie = check your logic at the door.

It still looks better than SW2 though.

Flux
BlackChampagne.com

The above email is in reply to it, and no, I couldn't resist replying to him:

I don't usually reply to such trolling, but I can't resist.

> fuck you.
Um, no.

>
you're a moron. who gives a shit about 
Obviously you do, or you wouldn't have emailed.

>
healing tatoos 
You did grasp the fact right? that a big (ugly) XXX tattoo would take at least a week to heal, that you have to keep a tattoo covered tightly for several days so it doesn't scab and get crusty, etc? and that he said he'd been a secret agent for 2 days, so.... I know, pointless to pick out logic errors in dumb action movies, but oh well.

>
and your opinion on dirtbikes? 
again, you obviously do.

> dirtbikes are more popular than they ever were, plain fact. 
I didn't say anything about their popularity. boy bands and pro wrestling are popular, that doesn't mean they aren't pathetically stupid and gay. I have no idea if moto cross bikes are popular, they were when I was like 14, but most kids see them as pretty dumb by the time they hit 20. I bet you will too.

And obviously-fake shots of one leaping over big movie fireballs isn't cool, and not you nor all the 15 y/o's from Oklahoma wanting it to be will make it so.

>
don't make me waste my time again.
I'll try not to.

Thanks for your input.

Flux

As it turns out, another post on the AICN talk back answered the tattoo thing, apparently the character in the movie has been using the alias "XXX", and had the tattoo to match, for some time, and is then recruited as a secret agent.  So my bad.  Not that dirtbike boy here knew that either, or you can be sure he'd have pointed it out.

And yes, I called them "gay" because I know he'll probably jerk like a trout on a hook at that line.  Homophobic teenaged boys always do. He'll like pro wrestling too, while not seeing any of the obvious homoerotic elements of it.

I do like his "way more popular than they ever were" line.  Bit ambiguous there, eh?  If some new band releases their first album, it sucks, and they sell 5 copies, and their second album sells 7 copies, they are "more popular than ever", but it's still nothing to brag about.

In like 1983, I was in 6th and 7th grade and living with my dad in Arlington, Texas, every kid was nuts for dirt bikes.  Every 11-15 y/o would spend every possible minute begging their parents for one, and all the 16-18 y/o's had them, and of course rode them everywhere they could possibly ride them. I didn't think they were stupid, but I had no desire for one myself.  I'd been in California for a while prior to that, and was into skateboarding and wanted to try surfing, and noisy, expensive, stinking dirt bikes weren't where my time was going to go, when I was old enough to have one.

I moved back to San Diego for 8th grade, and have been here ever since, and never had any dirt bike attraction.  I would like a motorcycle, they look like a lot of fun, and so fast.  Every time I'm stuck in traffic I think how I'd be there already riding between lanes and on the shoulder if I had a bike.  But the realities of nearly everyone who has one tearing up their ankles or laying it down and getting a concussion and needing skin grafts is a bit discouraging.  And I did see kids here who had dirt bikes, where I ride my mountain bike now is very dirt-bike friendly, though it's been domesticated for hikers and such now, where as when I was in high school it was really wild, uncontrolled area, and there were always guys out there on motorcycles.

The funny part is that I don't hate dirt bikes.  I have no desire to do it myself, and I wouldn't pay to see it, but I'll watch trick jumping stuff on ESPN 2 in the X-Games or whatever.  It's entertaining in a sort of bull-riding way, w/o the unpleasant elements of vicious animal torture.  And of course it's great when they crash.

But none of that makes it any less cool when it's overused in that stupid movie trailer.

 

That's it for the February mailbag.  There were several other test mails, even more exciting than the couple I quoted above, but I thought I'd spare you those.  Hopefully there will be a better selection next month.

 

Obligatory email link.

March 2002 -->
Mailbag Index Page

 

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