April, 2002
 • April 1 -- Sex, religion, and violence news galore, and Easter.

 • April 2 -- French Pentagon magical plane conspiracies, Yahoo underwear models, April Fool's Day wreckage.

 • April 3 -- Mutant puddy tat, inflammatory history of war profiteering, blogs vs. old media.

 • April 4 -- Non-judgmental parents, the sad demise of the "vampire rapist", non sequitor fiction, in parable form.

 • April 5 -- Gila monster spit, human Popsicles on Mt. Everest, nudist FAQ, robots working on replacing meat-units entirely, inappropriate fonts in movies, yet more misc news, and I'm a fatist.

 • April 6 -- Drunks getting what they deserve, 30 year old children in Italy, Darwinian doom via Everquest addiction, the best (worst?) news photo of the year.

 • April 7 -- Sexy pictures on Yahoo international, The Peacemaker reveals Hollywood's ultimate biases.

 • April 8 -- March Mailbag, more smut on Yahoo, what whores are really like, work and not getting fired for writing about it.

 • April 9 -- Deaf by choice, fortune cookies "in bed", Brazil sues a cartoon, work, blisters, and new CDs.

 • April 10 -- Google discovers me, browser popularity survey, NAMBLA priests, misc news items, work problems, part one.

 • April 11 -- High times, government spending priorities, gay men spitting up, tubcat! tubcat tubcat tubcat!, Pulitzer Prize discussion.

 • April 12 -- Amusing news, premature ejaculation, Lara Croft's sticky clothing on Ebay, Maxim critiqued, more work bullshit.

 • April 13 -- Ted Rall article debunked, misc news galore, penis problems = medical emergency, "men's" magazine discussion.

 • April 14 -- Young driver, the French hate Arabs too, breast implant discussion, creeping mortality and the inexorable march of time.

 • April 15 -- Don't speed in Finland, Lindbergh's grandson proves less than impressive, UN courts, Hyperlexia, to movie review or not?

 • April 16 -- Reader emails (lack thereof), Fortean Times, Mel's Hole, I'm fired for real, GFs vs. jobs.

 • April 17 -- News galore: fixed dice, hitmen, David Lee Roth + Sammy Hagar = washed up squared, whiny Europeans, Chili's food now sucks.

 • April 18 -- Basketball playoff expectations, food, reader email, Hot or Not? updated, Porno Madness.

 • April 19 -- Deep-linking illegal, extended Brian Lumley discussion, Venezuelan coup recap and US involvement.

 • April 20 -- Bitching about the warm temperatures that most of you would kill for, Mormon name tags are not bull's-eyes, "skank" isn't libelous, more on Brian Lumley, Ann Coulter's editorial demolished (IMHO).

 • April 21 -- Why you should stay out of prison, Abercrombie and Fitch hate Asians, Layne Staley bites the dust, Walmart hopes you bit the dust, religion Vs. medical treatment.

 • April 22 -- Work?, cell phone costs, Hitler's ideas live, Kylie Minogue's arse (and tits, and belly, and hoochie, etc) and band of the minute discussion.

 • April 23 -- The Osbournes and South Park, the funniest sports photo in world history, Neutrino detection, strip club that smells like tuna, hungry sharks, Saudis really hate Jews, Flux un-fired.

 • April 24 -- Osbournes may rule after all, but SP definitely sucks now, FFs = cancer, email forwarding etiquette, misc news items, and long discussion of conspiracy theories, why and why not.

 • April 25 -- News: Mutant frogs, cannibal killers, missing sailboats, tiger shark eats man, dead construction foreman.
Essay: My home lacks comfortable seating.

 • April 26 -- News: Basketball, Dooce closing, breastfeeding-odors, mystery Greek virus.
Essay: Legal uses of the 10 Commandments.

 • April 27 -- News: Snopes rules, carpal tunnel syndrome, dead R&B fashion disaster, unsolved math problems, Middle East.
Essay: Koreans = dog-eaters?

 • April 28 -- News: Too much surfing, too much D2, waste of time vs. utter waste of time gaming, 73 y/o Internet dating bust, Nursing ad, German student mass murder, Hershey's rat.
Essay: Chimps should have the right to sue?

 • April 29 -- News: Lost weekend, great b-ball, Biblical literalism quizzes, Spenser Tunick, Kylie Minogue's voice, Irish World Cup time change.
Essay: German school shooting issues and bad jokes.

 • April 30 -- News: Back to work, mouse-flavored Ritz crackers, lawsuits, psychosomatic awards, deadly stuffed cow, weird bacteria, animal abuse, rental home abuse, bright children ask questions a lot.
Essay: Soulmates, souls, and related topics. 

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