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Daily Rambling
The traits in others that most upset us are generally reflections on our own shortcomings or failures, or are at least things we see (and despise) in ourselves.

By this I refer to personality traits or tendencies, not so much physical actions.  Someone murders six or seven people, I don't find it upsetting (well, bad example, I generally don't give a shit) since I've been considering killing half a baker's dozen myself, it's upsetting since it's a horrible action.

I refer more to characters we see in fiction or film or TV (if you watch that sort of thing) that do something not altogether annoying, but that tends to drive you (and you alone) nucking futs.  Characters in books, usually female chars, who get all hysterical or whiny or panicky or giggly in a crisis drive me insane.  First example that leaps to mind is Frannie, in Stephen King's The Stand.  Hate her hated her will always hate her.  Why couldn't she have gotten it in the bomb?  Or even before it got that far, why couldn't that fat fuck Francis have lost it and strangled her with his pudgy little sausage fingers? (Scary that names and features from a book I've not read in 8 or 10 years leap instantly to mind, while I couldn't hope to name 90% of the guys I see at RL work semi-daily for three+ years.)

So what does that say about me?  (The character trait thing, not that I don't give enough of a shit to learn anyone at work's name, more on that megalomaniac symptom another time.)

I suppose that I need to be in control, or at least grasp for the illusion of it, and that when I see a character who is out of control, or unable to control their own actions/emotions, it drives me nuts.

I should add that it's only in otherwise competent individuals that this applies, it's fun when the maniac can't stop from eating someone's liver with fava beans, or killing his failure-prone henchmen, or if someone is too stupid to know any better.  In those cases, it's their nature, but when it's some character who seems to be otherwise semi-competent, it's annoying.

This is by no means the only type of behaviour that annoys me, but it leapt to mind, and I've thought of it as an example in the past.  An example discussed and discoursed in my own mental dialogues, never set down on paper/keyboard, or discussed with anyone else, (though I do have vague memories of discussing this with my mom about that very Stand character many years ago, back when I lived at home and before I became a bad and neglectful son) I might add.

Damn these parenthetical asides are getting out of hand.

I bring up this topic today in this initial site entry (no idea if it'll be the first thing on the site, it's just something that popped into mind while I'm screwing around with various ugly layouts and wanted to see how the page would look with text on it, and got carried away typing rather than just pasting the same few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over few words over and over again) since I'm really pissed at a co-worker, and wanting, once again, to quit working on that site, mostly to be free of her.

I find myself saying things (to myself, or typing in ICQ and not sending, as that's semi-cathartic, and tantalizingly death-wishy at the same time) like, "90% of my time on this site is spent trying to find ways to get around the obstructions you create."  This is patently untrue, (it's no more than 25% ;) but it certainly feels good to think it at the time, when I'm fucked off over some silly shit.

Her behaviour (the aspects of it that fuck me off) is unchanged in the 3.5+ years I've been working on the site/with her, so why does it still get to me so much?  Why does her inconsistency, and her intentional ignorance, and her blithe attitude about responding to communication attempts so bother me?  I know how she is, she's unchanging, I can't expect any different, etc.  So why do I?

Good question.

And why the hell did I use an idiotic t-shirt slogan like, "nucking futs" above, when I used real (profane) words elsewhere, when appropriate?

Good question #2.

Ideally there's be some pithy wrap up comment here, referring to something elsewhere in this... article... essay.... rant.... thing, that you'd forgotten about, but would elicit a chuckle to see it referred to again here at the end.  But I can't think of a good one, just that "nucking futs" one.  Sorry, I'm new at this.

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