![]() |
|
|
T Bands | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Quick Navigation: Click here to see the full alphabetical listing. Click any of the letters to jump to that page.
Main
Page - FAQ - Feedback Bands on this page: Send feedback here. Use this address to submit new bands for ranking; include any information you feel is relevant to their scoring and bonus points. You may also bitch/cheer about current rankings, this page in general, or just ask what's wrong with a flaming lowercase "t". |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
They also created one of the all time classic videos for Burning Down the House. It introduced the technique of projecting a movie onto odd surfaces, and in the video you see various group member's heads talking or singing and shining on walls or the street or other people's faces. (Talking heads, get it?) The classic scene though is when they're performing and they have midgets dressed just like them, like tiny little doppelgangers, and after a minute the midgets are climbing all over them, like they were human trees. It's damn bizarre. Tragically, I can not find a picture of that anywhere. What the hell good is the Internet with such a glaring omission? As for the name it's not bad. It does sound like a rock band, at least. I'd assume it's referencing news casters, who are often derisively referred to as "talking heads". Sort of a quirky name for a quirky band.
Tears
for Fears
The name is derived from Arthur Janov's primal scream therapy, if that's an
odd enough concept for you. I.E. you'd scream and release your pain and
cry about your deepest fears. Given the synth-heavy, wimpy sound these
guys played with, it seems a colossally-inaccurate name origin, eh? It's
still a pretty good rock band name though.
Ted Nugent
He's shown an unfortunate tendency to name his albums thematically,
as evidenced by 1971's Survival of the Fittest, 1973's Call of
the Wild, and 1974's Tooth, Fang & Claw. He escaped that
trap for a while, but eventually slipped back into it with the 1995
release Spirit of the Wild. This is never a good sign, and can be
a disaster, and it costs him a point
here. As for the name, like virtually all eponymous acts, it's
boring. "Ted" is about the least rock and roll name
around, while "Nugent" is equally-inappropriate. It
might work as a pun on "new gent", but with his rock and roll
party animal caveman image, that's certainly not what Teddy here is
going for.
Temple
of the Dog
The name is pretty cool.
Most everyone notices that "dog" is "god" spelled backwards
at some point in their childhood, and contemplates this apparently scandalous
turn of events for some time. "Temple of the God" would be a
relatively redundant title, so they chose wisely on this front. Tenacious
D
Despite their mongrel pedigree, they have become hugely popular, at
least among their own cult of fans. Jack Black has become
something of a successful actor, most recently starring in Orange
County, though apparently he just plays himself in everything, sort
of a later day John Belushi. Their official page has quite a bit of music, especially in the
videos section, including the Internet legend Fuck
Her Gently, which may be the best music video in the history of
mankind. Only appropriate for the Greatest Rock Band on Earth,
after all. For this a bonus point must be awarded. Their name is a sports term, with "D" short for
"defense". What that has to do with rock and roll or guitars
or their type of music or humorously-Satanic imagery is unclear. They
Might Be Giants
It was Istanbul not
Constantinople Their name is pretty cute 'n clever, as you've no doubt noticed
yourself. Ordinarily we would be somewhat repulsed by such a precious
title, but it just fits with their quirky little tunes so well that it melts our
shriveled, blackened hearts.
Third
Eye Blind
Their name is pretty good, for a rock band. It refers to the supposed
"third eye", which is held to be a way to view things
psychically, with an eye in the forehead. Various mythologies
(Eastern, mostly) hold that pressure points intersect in the forehead,
and it's a sort of gateway to a sixth sense. Etc. They smoke
a lot of hashish over there, you know. At any rate, it's memorable
and sounds like a rock band, with a bit of cutesy pretension thrown in. Perhaps Tiffany's most lasting
legacy is that by giving them the opening slot on one of her tours, she launched
the careers of New Kids on the Block, and by
extension all the boy bands who have come since. For this several bonus points
are removed from her flesh with a rusty carrot peeler. She does get a bonus point back
for a pathetically tawdry early life, including a legal battle to gain full emancipation
from her mother over financial issues. She returned to the spotlight
somewhat by posing for Playboy in
2002, but as her agent said, in one of the funniest quotes of the decade, "I
want to make sure people don't perceive this as a publicity stunt. Any woman
would be honored to pose for Playboy." Oddly
enough most every woman I've asked about it said they have no interest in
showing their titties off in Playboy, so either they're lying, or perhaps
Tiffany's agent is. Hard to believe, I know. The only way it wasn't
a publicity stunt was because it didn't work. The whole concept of her in
Playboy was a bizarre one, since she's clearly not attractive enough to be a
normal model in the magazine. So she's getting in on her celebrity, but
since she hadn't released an album for a decade, and hasn't done any TV or
movies (since no one would have her) either, why is she a celebrity? Her
biggest celebrity achievement of the last decade is being in Playboy; making her
appearance there a self-fulfilling prophecy. Her name is not bad. It's
her real name, Tiffany Renee Darwish, so she doesn't get any credit for thinking
up a clever name. She does get credit for using just the good part of it
though; next time you think your name is dumb, contemplate being known as "Darwish".
She was really unlucky to be born about 10 years too early, since if she'd had
her hit song at 16 in 1997 rather than 1987, with a stripper name, and her
relatively good looks, she'd be giving Britney and the others a run for their
silicone, rather than providing comic fodder for cruel website writers.
The other problem is that while that one song is one of the best alternative
songs of all time, still getting radio play seven years later, there isn't one
other song by the band that's even borderline decent. I set out to
purchase that CD three or four times, and every time I'd listen to it at Music
Trader I'd groove on Possum Kingdom, and then try desperately to find
even one other song that had a glimmer of promise. I just refused to drop
$8.99 on a 10 track single, and even one other half-decent song would have made
it seem practical. Needless to say, I never bought it. They have to give
up a couple of bonus points for their one-hit-wonderism, as well as their
horrible taste in song and album titles. There is an actual Possum
Kingdom Lake in Texas, and the band is from Fort Worth, so that must be
where they got the title and song inspiration (behind the boathouse).
At the same time, they need to realize that just because there is a real place
named that, and it inspired the song, you don't necessarily need to hang such an
awful moniker on your one good song ever. The band name seems to illustrate a trend with the band of picking just awful
names for things. The first album was called Pleather, their second
Rubberneck, their big song Possum Kingdom. If ever a band
should have just let some record company weasel rename and repackage everything,
this was the time. The only usage of "toadie" is for a
low-ranking criminal, a sort of evil gofer, tolerated only for his servility and
occasional dirty work usefulness. A rather self-deprecating band name, but
perhaps it has some private meaning to them. The name is a pretty good one. It's stupid and silly, yet quite
memorable and instantly distinctive. Sort of a "we're so cool we can
use a children's book title for our name" thing going on. The name came
from a Monty Python routine about silly band names, yet it wasn't the silliest
of them all, if you can believe it. Ordinarily we'd award a bonus point
for picking something inspired by Monty Python, but being as they got their
silly band name from a list of silly band names, it's a bit too easy to deserve
bonus credit.
Tool has numerous songs that are really about something. Pain,
suffering, child molestation, hatred of all things LA, and more.
They've been called pretentious and pseudo-meaningful, but that's still
a lot more than 97% of metal bands can aspire to. The name is remarkably nondescript, considering how much else they've
got going on. You can look at it as a boring and pointless title,
or else as an ironic commentary on themselves; not using a long and
complicated/clever name when you'd expect them to do so. The word
has several meanings as well. The most obvious one (depending on
your frame of reference) is as a synonym for penis. Considering
that they've got a bunch of gay imagery on their records, that's
appropriate. "Tool" also means a manipulated victim type
of person, which might tie into the miserable childhood that Maynard
seems to draw inspiration from. Whatever the case, it's not an
especially good name for a rock band.
The
Traveling Wilburys
They were Bob Dylan, Jeff Lynn, Tom Petty, Roy Orbison, and George
Harrison, I'll have you know. And yes, I had to go look that up
online. The only ones I remembered were Petty and Harrison.
Bob Dylan is an odd figure for anyone under 40. You hear all the
time about how great he was and what an influence, and how he's this
mysterious figure, and then you see this old guy playing warbling folk
and muttering, and you wonder what the hell the hell everyone was
smoking in the 60's to conclude he's any good. (Answer: hashish
with LSD chasers.) As for the band name, aside from always making me think "dingleberries"
it's not bad. They were trying to evoke an old time traveling band
feel, and did that pretty well with the title. Given the mortality
rate of these guys, I think we can pretty well rule out a reunion tour,
at least this side of hell. Which is, oddly enough, the same place my
second wife said she'd reunite with me. At least we'll have some
music. Travis
I would have sworn I'd never
heard of them, and was betting this name (one of many I had on a list of bands
to add that I wasn't familiar with) was another one-name R&B/rapper, ala
Nelly or Mase or Coolio. I was obviously wrong about the type of group,
and I was wrong about not having heard of them too, since I was familiar with
their one big hit, Sing. Check out the 30 sec sample
of it on Amazon.com if you think you've not heard it, you may be as
surprised as I was. It sounds like Jack Johnson, with a weird banjo jangly
sound. It's very out of character for them though, the one song that's not
Radiohead-esque. As for the name, do you really
need me for this one? It's pathetically weak. The origin of it is
unknown. Rumors are they took it from the name of a character in a movie,
most often said to be Travis Bickle, the "Are you talking to me?" Taxi
Driver psycho played by De Niro. Even if that's true, so what?
It would be a very inappropriate moniker for this wimpy band if it were true,
and in any event, it's still a boring name for a rock band. A
Tribe Called Quest
Their name is a very good one, for any sort of band. Supposedly it was
given to them by the Jungle Brothers, who should probably have kept it for
themselves, comparatively speaking. The name doesn't really have any rap
connotation, and would serve equally well for any group of just about any type
of music. This isn't a criticism, it's a damn good name.
The Tubes
My main memory of them is one hit song, She's a Beauty that
had a video featuring a hot girl on a trapeze. It used to be on
Mtv every 15 minutes in about 1983, back when they (Mtv) only had like
10 total videos and no idiotic reality/dating/human crash test shows
yet. My dad actually liked this band more than I did, which costs
them a point, as he's not much of a rock fan. As for the name, it's pretty blah. First off, God there are a lot of
bands with "The plural-noun" for a name. This one is one
of the less interesting titles, meaning nothing in particular. My
only connotation is the London subway system, which they call "the
tube" but I don't see how that has anything to do with these
guys. The only other way you hear "tube" in conversation
is when a woman gets sterilized and has her "tubes tied" but I
don't see how that relates either. It does sort of sound like a rock
band, but just barely.
Shania
Twain
As for her music, I have no
idea, I've never heard a note of it, other than her singing the National Anthem
at some sporting event or other. I'm sure she's as talented as you'd
expect from a very pretty woman who wears tight clothing and does lots of near
nude photo shoots, while being perpetually frustrating by never showing any
actual "nudity". This costs her a cock-tease point. Her name is as boring as all
the non-Country eponymous artists. It's a name. A woman's
name. Is she a singer or a contract lawyer? There's no telling, from
the name.
Twisted
Sister
Front man Dee Snider was pretty much the whole band during their heyday, and
besides creating a cartoonishly evil guy look, currently being inexplicably
recreated by Christina Aguilera, and some goofy videos, they didn't have a whole
lot to run with. Their sudden success and glam looks alienated their initial
fans, and all of the new fans were bandwagon hoppers who bailed as soon as there
wasn't a catchy single to engage them. The name is a clever one. It's vaguely-sinister and yet amusing, and
even rolls off the tongue smoothly. Would "Contorted Cousin" be
a good band name? Passable, but far inferior to what they chose, which
just shows their good titular judgment.
Type
O Negative
Their name is pretty clever. It's a blood type, of course,
tying into their vampire gothic Anne Rice thing. They even picked
a pretty good type of blood; I mean would "Type AB
Positive" work as well for a name? No, of course not. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
All site content copyright "Flux" (Eric Bruce), 2002-2007. |