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Ice
Cube
Ice Cube's last successful album was released in 1993, as the rap
sound changed and he was not successful in changing with it.
Surprisingly, he's become a very popular stealth movie star, staring in
numerous hits such as Anaconda, Higher Learning, Friday
and its sequel, both of which he wrote, and most recently Barbershop.
Memo to Cube; there's a good political rap to be written about how every
black movie today makes 10x the production cost while showing on 1/5th
the screens of every stupid unprofitable white college comedy. The name isn't much to talk about. Virtually every rap star had
"ice" or "cold" in their name back in the early
90's, and if this guy hadn't gotten to the name first, you can bet
someone else would have a month later. It's a meaningless name if
you don't know about rap music, but since pretty much everyone does at
this point, it works well enough for a rap artist.
Ice
T
Ice T wasn't the first of the gangster rappers, and he was one of the
few who didn't make his initial hits as part of some well-known crew,
though his best work was when partnered with a strong producer. He
was one of the driving forces in the early rap/rock sound, with his band
Bodycount playing thrash metal for him to yell over. It was more
in the Rage Against the Machine mode
than the numerous current rap/metal bands like Limp
Bizket. The first Bodycount album was one of the most
controversial ever, due to one song Cop Killer, which attracted
protests from virtually everyone. This was probably the apex of Ice T's musical career, and since then
he's never sold as many records. His ventures into thrash metal
eroded most of his original black rap audience, and the white teens who
liked Bodycount were never numerous enough to make up for that, so when
he tried to return to a straight rap album some years later it went
nowhere. Like a lot of other rappers, Ice T has had success in
acting, and plays a cop on TV these days. Ironically enough. He got the name from a suitable source, a pimp named Iceberg Slim,
who wrote novels and poetry, presumably when he wasn't busy beating his
whores. Ice T used to memorize lines from Iceberg's writings and try to
use them on girls at school. I'm sure that went over real
well. He was born Tracy Morrow, so presumably took the Ice from
the pimp and T from his own first name. As a name for a rapper
Ice-T works pretty well, though it's sort of silly, being a common free
refill beverage.
Billy gets a
bonus point
for wrecking himself in a drunken motorcycle accident, and acquiring a
permanent limp.
Enrique
Iglesias
As far as I know, I've never actually heard anything either of them recorded,
but that's probably all for the good in terms of their bonus points, of which
they have none, but that's more than they would if I'd had to sit through hours
of their woman-pleasing caterwauling. Compare to Michael Bolton, who I've never
heard a full song from either, but has lots late night Greatest Hits
commercials, and earned massive negative bonus points for being seen screaming
"When a man, loves a womuuuuuuunh!" during commercial breaks of
midnight Steven Segal movies on TNT. That and his Chia Pet's wet dream
hair of the 90's. I'm lumping Daddyglesias in with Jr, primarily since I don't
know of any differences between them other than age, and I can't be
arsed to think up another Michael Bolton joke to put into his entry.
Natalie
Imbruglia
As for her name, it's a bit of
a train wreck. Impossible to remember, about as phonetic as a French menu,
the casual reader is left wondering both how to spell and how to pronounce
it. Yet that fits with the outspoken, unapologetic style of music she
does, so it's oddly appropriate. She'll need to bang someone famous, or
OD, in order to earn any bonus points. The band name is
actually very cool, being as it's a male sexual demon, the counterpart
of a "succubus". However that's an absurdly grasping
definition of the name for this relatively bland and inoffensive group;
they certainly don't project any "sexual demon" vibe that I'm
aware of. Supposedly the lead singer is topless in most of their
videos, but since he looks like his workout regime involves more fruit cups than
sit ups, it doesn't necessarily help them live up to the name. The Indigo Girls are far from
girls, both were well into adulthood and dressing in typical New Age mumus by
the time they became at all famous. The women are Emily Saliers and Amy
Ray and apparently they have very different styles and voices and all of that. I
have no idea, frankly. This group might be best known for serving as the
background music while the South Park kids engaged in some furious
carpet-licking, having heard that they needed to do that to appeal to their
"lesbian" teacher, before Wendy had her shot into the sun by
Iraqis. Episode 111. Like most things featured in South Park, they get a
bonus point it. The name is pretty appropriate
for their whole lesbian folk rock style. Indigo is the "I" color
between Blue and Violent in the classic "Roy G. Biv" mnemonic
seven-color rainbow spectrum. And as we all know thanks to the wit and
wisdom of Jerry Falwell and his Tinky Winky revelation, purple is the gay pride
color.
Iron
Maiden
The name is cool, but the problem is that it could just as easily be
some sort of chick band with songs about social inequality and
overpriced tampons. With a cool name. Chris
Isaak
His name is less lame than most eponymous artists, though that's
mixed praise. "Isaak" is vaguely rock and roll,
"Chris" is not, but somehow his old style of rock, back when
everyone used their own name, makes his lack of imagination seem more
forgivable. INXS
I actually liked INXS somewhat when they were first popular in the
US,
though they got old in a hurry, but that doesn't mean I can excuse their
overly-clever band name. The fact that after they were over, their
lead singer killed himself via autoerotic asphyxiation is a bonus point,
of course. The fact that his girlfriend was a really hot model in
a nasty custody battle with Bob Geldoff is another bonus.
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