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The name is perfect for them. Loathe or just strongly-dislike them, you can't deny that the name does what it's supposed to do. They even get a bonus point for having the decency to not spell it "Boyz".
Bad
Religion
One interesting fact is their impressive rate of auto-cannibalism.
Their debut record came out in 1982. By 1984 and their second
album, 4 of the 5 group members had quit for one reason or
another. Yet the name remained the same. They kept at this,
though at a lesser pace, for the next fifteen years. They are given
credit for changing their sound over time, (unlike the punk bands of
today) but given that they had 2 or 3 new members every other album, how
could they not? They get a bonus point for being screwy. Their name is a tasty one. It's got a lot of potential meanings, so
everyone can take it in their own special way. Is it social
commentary on mass belief systems? Is it a reference to their fan
base? Is it just something they pulled out of a hat? The name is taken from an old burlesque phrase, one that
sounds rather quaint and amusing in this day and age.
Unfortunately, no one in the band is barenaked, or a lady. Two of the
guys were joking about the absurd phrase at a Bob Dylan concert in 1988,
and agreed that it would be a great name for a rock band, (making Dave
Barry proud). Despite the name being utterly silly, Toronto mayor
June Rowlands, somehow found it offensive and sexist, and banned the
band from playing a concert in 1992. True to their empty-headed
joviality, the band laughed it off and continued conquering Canada with
a mixture of light-hearted novelty hits and government enforced non-Canadian
music sanctions. None of the gothic bands ever did
anything for me since my teen angst was channeled into anger and thrash metal,
rather than woeful misery. At least most of the time. Very much a
"you had to be there" style/sound, where there's zero chance you'll
appreciate it now if you didn't acquire the taste when you were 15 and huddled
on your bed below your Robert Smith poster, sobbing softly into the remains of
the pink Izod that your mother made you wear, and that those jocks assholes ripped half
off of your skinny pasty body while calling you
"faggot". Again. All that aside, the name is pretty damn appropriate for their type of
pretentious sonic depression. They were initially Bauhaus 1919,
referring to the date that the Bauhaus art movement was really getting
underway. The name was shortened after some reflection. Yes, they have tons of catchy, enjoyable songs. The mystery is
why so many people from that era invest them with so much more relevance
and heft than any other band from the time. Most of that 60's pop
sounds pretty much alike, after all. Admittedly, my opinion on them
isn't exactly in the majority. Like them or not, you have to admit the name is pretty average. It was inspired by Buddy Holly's Crickets. The Beatles liked his music and took insect inspiration, changing it from "beetles" to "beatles" in a musical pun. That's sort of clever, but still, the name doesn't do a whole lot. If you had never heard of the band, what would you guess? Probably guess it was a kids' music group, or perhaps a really angry metal band with a furious inferiority complex.
The Mark of the BB ruins their name in the '00s though, for anyone who doesn't know of them in advance. You hear "Beachboys" and expect some sort of tropical Menudo clones sporting Hawaiian shorts, shades, and freshly-plucked eyebrows. Instead of that you get grandfather's lodge buddies strumming away, and songs with choruses familiar from late night cable commercials. Which is actually an improvement on what you expect, but it's still unpleasant. They get a couple of bonus points for infighting and various stupid member deaths.
The
Beastie Boys
The guys in the band all have wacky names, Adam Yauch (a.k.a. MCA), Mike
Diamond (a.k.a. Mike D.), and Adam Horowitz (a.k.a. King Ad-Rock), son of
playwright Israel Horowitz, who was initially in a punk band, The Young and the
Useless, which he quit to join the Beasties. He scores a bonus point for
being married to film actress Ione Skye, who, while not as hot as her name or
early 90's reputation, is still a famous actress, which is always bonus point
country. The band name has no specific origin legends, but it seems pretty
straight forward in meaning, and is very appropriate. As for the name, it's
cute and catchy and sounds like an unimportant pop band. Bingo. The name is a total disappointment
on the surface, due to it being so bland and uninteresting.
However if you try harder and look deeper you can see it as ironic and
witty; him picking such a plain and pointless name while doing such
weird music. That being said, he should still have thought up something
better. Ben
Folds Five
The main guy in the band is Ben Folds, so there must be five
guys in the band, or five in addition to Ben, right? Nope, this
band, now defunct, was a threesome, and had the odd attribute of no
guitar player. Just piano, bass, and drums. It wasn't that their
guitar players kept ODing or getting busted with kiddy porn, they just
didn't have one, and didn't really need one, since their
cleverly-written music college radio alt-pop music rocked just as hard
as bands that did (a very relative statement). The band termed their
music "punk rock for sissies" and they were one of the most
original of the "nerd rock" bands of the 90's. Which is
another very relative statement. The name is rather odd. As detailed above, there are three band
members. It's not like "Ben Folds Three" was taken
already. One rumor is that the name was a joke based on the
missing band members, the ones who would usually have been playing
guitars. That's pretty clever, whether it's true or not. Better
Than Ezra
After their debut, limited release album, the original
guitarist committed suicide. After taking several months off, the
surviving members got a new guitarist and carried on, recording a
relatively successful second album that got major labels interested in
the band. At this time the original drummer promptly quit. Ignoring their clearly cursed nature, the band got a new drummer and
continued, hitting pop gold with the reissue of their second album, and
having pretty good success with their third one. Their fourth
bombed though, causing them to be dropped by their label, though they
persevered on an independent label, luckily for their dozens of
remaining fans. The name origin is shrouded in mystery. It's said to come from
a quote on page 96 of Hemingway's A Movable Feast, or that it's from the
dedication of T. S. Eliot's The Waste Land, or that some of the members
used to be in a band called Ezra, or that they played a gig after a
mediocre band called Ezra, or that they were mad about not getting into
Cornell and that the founder of the university was named Ezra
Cornell. It's a pretty good name for a rock band, wherever it came
from. Bjork
Her name is awesome though, conjuring up images of... well
nothing in particular actually, but it's fun to mispronounce, and it
sounds Norwegian, or something like that. The only Bjork song I
can call to mind is by
Lore, but she gets a bonus point for inspiring that, since I'm feeling
generous this morning.
Black
Sabbath
This score largely
overlooks the half-hearted 2000 reunion and the tragic spectacle they
made of themselves on the Ozzfest tour, but that just has to cost them a point.
The
Black Crowes
You have to like the odd spelling of "crows", which is appropriate, somehow. Yes I know other bands have been losing points for spelling their names wrong. No one said life was fair.
Blues
Traveler
The band history is somewhat interesting. They have had one
member drop dead, and the lead singer has come close twice. First
from a motorcycle accident in the early 90's, and then nearly from a heart
attack. John Popper was at least 200 pounds overweight, and his
massive form, covered in ammo belts holding harmonicas, was the group's
signature image. John was pretty wacky, known for whipping out a
collection of knives and other antique weapons, and he had a couple of
notoriously out of control Howard Stern show appearances.
Unfortunately for the group's fun factor, after an angioplasty he got his
stomach stapled in 2000 and lost about a metric ton, as well as cleaning
up his diet and drug use. The greatly-reduced chance of him choking on a
ham sandwich or OD'ing costs them a bonus point. The name is appropriate. They are a band that tours constantly,
and they play blues-influenced music. That pretty well sums it up
right there, eh? The name
sounds like a jump around skate music type band, and they fill that bill
nicely. Supposedly they wanted to be called just "Blink"
but it was already taken, so they added the "182" totally at
random. They aren't exactly known for the depth and profound nature of
their thoughts, as the name should hint. As for his name, it does nothing and
goes nowhere. Generally, artists who go by just their name are
vocalists, but sometimes they are country, and sometimes they are pop or
R&B, or even rap, though not with this name. It's a boring name, sounding
more like a car salesman than a rock star. Not that he's really
"rock" music, but you know what I mean.
Jon
was the cute one, but despite that the guitar player Richie Sambora leads
in famous poontang, having dated Cher (back when that was a good
thing) and Heather Locklear (several years too late) though he went there
after seven years of Tommy Lee. Sort of like scuba diving behind a
whale.
Jon started the band, after hanging around recording studios as a kid,
when his name was still Jon Bongiovi. His cousin Tony ran the
studio, and promptly sued the band once they started to have some
success, claiming he'd developed their sound. I love that story,
it's such a perfect goombah relative tale. The suit was settled out of
court.
The name, while a bit improvement over Bongiovi, is basically
worthless; it could be anything from a meat-packing company to a
florist. "Rock band" would be way down on my list if I
were guessing, and vanity named bands are annoying anyway. Boston
As for the actual town of Boston, I don't think of rock and roll. I think of tea parties, a marathon, and funny accents. They also lose points for the uninventive name.
Boyz
II Men
As for the name, it's loathsome, but brilliant. You're not a 14
y/o girl, and you find it idiotic, but would you buy their album even if
you liked the band name? Of course not. The target audience sees the name in Tiger Beat, and they know exactly what sort of music and image the band will have.
Unluckily for the Boyz, the l33t spelling, including actual Roman
numerals,
costs them
a point.
Bush
The name is cute, with the whole "female pubic hair"
reference. It's sort of dumb at the same time, though it does fit
well with their entirely redundant sound. In any event, you'd like a rock band
to spend a little more time and come up with a bit more interesting
title, especially since they do manage a decent guitar riff from time to
time, despite themselves. The Butthole
Surfers
The name is worthless to tell you anything about their music.
Going literally you'd think they were some sort of homosexual act, or
perhaps a weird angry dyke band. It takes balls to wear such a
stupid name though, which is worth a
bonus point.
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All site content copyright "Flux" (Eric Bruce), 2002-2007. |
