n a strange twist of fate, here's a page about a pair of TV shows that I have never watched, and don't imagine that I ever will.  Nevertheless, in seeing some news items and TV commercials for them, I was captivated enough to want to write more about the subject. And here goes.

Any hypothetical future updates on this subject, unlikely as they seem, will be added to the bottom of this page.

While watching some of the basketball game on Saturday, I couldn't help but notice their ads for the upcoming show, The Bachelorette.  This is much like being unable to help noticing the snow while walking in a blizzard, since ABC seems to be taking a page out of FOX's usual football game strategy, and showing the same promo so often that you eventually see more of it than the actual sporting event.

Anyway, the premise of the show is one woman and 25 guys, all potential suitors.  They set them up on group dates or something, film it all, edit it down to about 12 episodes, and call it a TV show.  This is the follow up to The Bachelor, which they aired last season, I guess. The woman on this one was the runner up on the last show, but I have no idea if the winner married the guy or what.  I was thinking they ended up with great acrimony and lawsuits, but I think that was some other show, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire.  Which was probably on FOX, knowing them.  So I have no idea how Bachelor turned out, but my initial reaction to this one is that it's inherently less interesting than the first version of the show.  Keep in mind that I didn't see the first one, and I won't see any of this new one, so my opinions are even more uninformed than usual.

Why is Bachelor better than Bachelorette?

Sex.  I would assume that the Bachelor took several test rides, or at least tried for it.  Plus the women were likely throwing themselves at him, if they wanted to win.  It's a given that the guys on this one will be trying to nail the girl, since that's what guys do.  But she's not going to bang half a dozen of them, since she's on TV and doesn't want to be thought of as a slut, and anyway, women don't care about sex unless it's a way to more deeply ensnare a mate.  Plus if there is sex, or nearly sex, that would greatly up the intensity of the participants, and turn the women incredibly catty.  Which leads to...

Cat fights.  Women are much more scheming and vicious when competing for a man than men are for a women.  The men might get into a fight, but mostly they'd just sulk and trade angry looks, like pro wrestlers pretending to give a shit pre-match.  Women, on the other hand, can smile while ripping each other's guts out.  They scheme, backstab, flirt, and serve up viciously cutting remarks, and if they actually did get into a physical altercation, a cat fight is 50x more fun to watch than two dumb guys trading headlocks before the camera men and second unit director break it up.

Lastly, the babe factor.  I'd rather see them trot out 25 chicks than just one.  This is entirely subjective though, and likely would be the opposite for women, who are probably more likely to watch either version of the show anyway. It's a relationship sort of thing and women love that stuff.  Men would not watch either version, especially if there's not going to be a parade of semi-hot chicks in a hot tub.  They'd rather go watch the Lakers and spill beer on themselves.

This version seems inherently less interesting than the Bachelor, due to the likelihood of sex and competition intensity levels being lower.  However I'd think that a lot of it depends on the main character, the bachelorette in this case.  If she's vivacious and interesting and does well on camera, then it would be A Star is Born sort of thing, and people might tune in just to see her and what she ends up doing.  The Cult of Personality potential is very high.  It doesn't look likely, since you never hear her say a word on the commercials, and I'd think they would get her voice in somewhere if she had any personality or anything interesting to say.

ABC has a high opinion of her at any rate. Here's an actual vote from the Bachelorette page.

What is Trista's best trait?

• Her keen intellect
• Her stunning good looks
• Her fun-loving personality
• Her caring heart

So is sucking a golf ball through 10 yards of garden hose a "talent" rather than a "trait" or what?

I can't say a word about #1, #3, or #4, but she does not have stunning good looks.  She's pretty, and has decent hair.  I assume her body is awesome, as they say she was a Miami Heat dancer and I'm sure she hit the gym before this show began filming, but "tight ass and belly" isn't part of the vote choice, now is it?

If anyone saw the Bachelor and wants to let me know if there was nookie and how much, or if the winner ended up getting married, do let me know.  I'll post a follow up tomorrow or the next day.

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