worked at the Stadium in San Diego for more than a dozen years. During that time I also worked occasionally at the San Diego Sports Arena and Del Mar Fairgrounds. I've worked at baseball playoff and World Series games, football playoff games, two SuperBowls, pro-basketball games, concerts, college and high school football games, Mexican rodeos, tractor pulls, and just about everything else you might see at a sports venue.  I'm not proud of any of this, but the work pays very well for limited hours, and I have picked up some interesting facts and stories over time.

I quit my job at the stadium in San Diego in July of 2003, when I moved up north to the Bay Area to live with Malaya, and am therefore free to talk about anything at all about my years at the stadium, at this point.  And I might do that, at some point.

This page in particular collects some of the odder aspects of fan behavior that I witnessed over time, and wrote about, mostly while still working at the stadium, when I had to somewhat bite my tongue (fingers) just in case word of my website somehow got back to the people I worked for.  It never did, and when they did try to fire me for a bullshit reason, it had nothing to do with this website.

There are several examples of stupid fan behavior listed on the Customer Service Article page, so you'll want to read those if you're interested in being completely thorough.

Newer examples of amusingly stupid fan behavior are added at the top of this page.

December 15, 2002

The first game high school football game I worked at yesterday featured the Saints vs. the Crusaders.  I don't remember which schools they were, just the nicknames, which amused me. It was like the Jesus bowl.

The Saints wore purple, and they had a lot more fans, all in purple on their side of the stadium.  They lost by a lot, like 42-14, since they ran for like 15 yards while throwing interceptions galore, while the other team ran for around 350 yards.  But what was funny was that they had really hot cheerleaders who ran through the stands most of the game.  In the front row in one spot there were 6 or 7 girls, obviously students, all in purple sequined bikini tops and tight jeans.  Sitting right in the front row, with belly paint and such, mostly standing up and waving their arms overhead at every available opportunity.  Half the time I was five feet away from them kneeling down selling my poison to children, so yes, I enjoyed the floor show.  All of them were cute too, though they had the one requisite fat girl in their posse.

They were flirting outrageously, as teen age girls often do when in packs at the stadium.  I often wish I were 18 again, when there is some bunch of 17 y/o's making goo goo eyes and licking their lips a lot as they try out their nascent flirting skills in half-hearted pursuit of a free cotton candy.  I don't think they really want one, it's just that I'm a not-too-ugly guy, and they are feeling their oats with no parental supervision in a safe environment.  Girls who are there alone or with just one friend act normally.  Girls over 14 in a group of 3 or more are wildly-teasing.

I assume they were the same when I was closer to their age, I just was too dumb to realize it.  Or was intimidated or charged up by it.  Now I view it with detached amusement.

I'm not sure where the line between admiring their hot young bodies and being a late-term pedophile comes in, but I try to not cross it.  The clothing for high school girls is amazing today though.  As I recall when I was in high school there were some tight outfits, but nothing ever in any way resembling a belly shirt.  Long oversized sweaters were in vogue then, usually over tights, which is a torturing outfit.  Torturing for me, a fella who most obsesses over women with tight butts.  So the fashion was to wear something that would have shown off a great butt, but to cover it up with an ugly sweater.

Now the girls all have on belly shirts, so their butts are out in the public view the entire time.  True, the fashion in jeans are those low rider ones that are cut poorly and make the ass look square, but at least you can see that they have one.  Not that I notice such things, of course.

The girls also all wear tons of make up, and obviously.  Lots of that sparkle eye liner, with liberal splashes on their cheeks and very shiny lip gloss.  It's not exactly a subtle look, but I think it's relatively attractive.  Would look ridiculous on a woman old enough that I'd consider dating, but it's cute on a cute 17 y/o.

And I saw about 200 girls like that yesterday, most of them from about a foot away as they bought or begged for a cotton candy.

I don't find any of them exactly "sexy", but they are flashy eye candy.

The dance/cheer teams are amusing also.  All in those short little skirts and prancing around the stands, displaying much of their panties.  Not that they're actually underwear; they're almost like bike shorts, coming down the thighs a bit, far larger than any underwear women wear.  But they're visible under a skirt, which makes it seem naughty.  Which is the whole point.

One team was the Lancers, and their miniskirt brigade were the "Lancer Dancers".  Which I thought was pretty cute.

None of the teams had any male cheerleaders that I saw.  So not much of the high-throwing acrobatic stuff; it was mostly synchronized dancing.  But sexy dancing, I mean tons of hip thrusting and pelvic swaying and high leg kicks.  Not quite of the "all they need is a brass pole" pro cheerleader style, but not far from it.  I got to trot out two of my favorite jokes, when after one routine I turned to a guy next to me and said, "The last time I saw dancing like that there was a two drink minimum."

My other variation on that is, "there was a cover charge." but it's essentially the same joke.  It amuses me, anyway.

The best usage ever was about 5 years ago when there were several really hot girls on the "Pad Squad".  That is a sort of "pump up the crowd" team the Padres employ at baseball games.  They run around wearing baseball jerseys and shorts and throw t-shirts and such into the crowd between innings, lead cheers and dance around and clap and such.  They aren't a cheer team in that they don't have routines or organized dancing, and they are co-ed, about half male, and all in their early 20's, I'd estimate.  The last few years there have not been any cute girls among them, but when they first started 4 or 5 years ago, there were several cuties.  Chief among them was a gorgeous woman with very long black hair.  She looked a bit like the Disney Pocahontas cartoon character, actually.  I don't think she was Indian, but she had a dark complexion and was truly beautiful. Picture Pocahontas in tight shorts with hair past her waist.  She'd often put it into two long braids, pig tail style, with sparkly lip gloss, and men would just groan as she pranced past.

She was a bitch though, stuck up and uncommunicative.  The few times I said something to her in passing she'd just ignore me completely. I assume that's a natural outgrowth of being really hot and able to get away with anything, and also working in such a public job, where every man is trying to hit on you.  I never was trying to hit on her though (at least when I saw how pointless it would be).  I'd just say "Hi." or make a quick joke as I passed, and she'd look away or scowl, ignoring me entirely.  The rest of the Pad Squad types would always laugh or reply, but she was too good for that.

Anyway, near the end of the year she was dancing between innings to whatever stupid music they were playing, and yes, she could dance.  Lots of the side shimmering hand movement stuff, pirouettes to show off her slim figure and send her hair flying out decoratively, etc.  But hot, stripper style gyrations as well.

I was nearby during one routine and couldn't help but look on appreciatively, as were the other 1000 men in visual range.  As she finished to applause and was doing her fake clapping and yelling of the "Let's go team" type, I walked past on my selling route. She looked over and saw me coming and looked away.  I had been on the verge of saying, "Nice dance." or something like that, since it was, but her usual, "Fuck off and die." look annoyed me.  So as I passed her I said, "The last time I saw dancing like that I had to pay a cover charge, baby."

She turned quickly and audibly hissed at me, while still keeping that fake smile pasted to her face.  I was greatly amused though, and it kept a (real) smile on my face for the rest of the night.

I'm sure she's landed some really rich husband by now, and all of his friends think he must be the luckiest guy in the neighborhood with such a hot wife, while he's sitting at home wishing to god he'd insisted on a pre-nup so he could dump the bitch.  Their first two years were great, but once the honeymoon was over and everything wasn't about making her happy, she began to show her true colors and probably avoids sex 90% of the time, and lays there like a lox the 10% she doesn't, saying endearing things like, "Hurry up and finish." or "You haven't bought me any new jewelry lately."

Not that I'm projecting or anything.

December 9, 2002

Another stadium topic I was pondering today to fill my thoughts while executing the boring but profitable work; why visiting team fans are so annoying.

San Diego always has a huge amount of fans for the other team, often to the point that you'd be hard-pressed to figure who the home team is, just going by what the fans are wearing in the stands.  I think this is largely due to so many people moving to SD since the weather and economy is so glorious.  So when teams from Philly or NY or Chicago or wherever play here, there are tons of people who moved here from there, and come out to root for the old home town boys.

The visiting team fans almost all wear some sort of jersey or hat for the team also, so there's no mistaking their loyalties. Lots of the home team fans wear the team colors, but plenty of others are just there in normal clothing.  Most of the neutrally-dressed people are home fans, and will cheer loudly, but at a glance aren't instant boosters.  My theoretical, unscientific evaluation:

• 30% of the fans in visiting colors
• 20% in home colors
• 60% neutral clothing (55% home fans, 5% visitor fans)

So there is always a big majority for the home team.  Just not to the naked eye.  Unless your naked eye sees into the brain and can pick out loyalties therein.  And if it can, you should probably be working for the CIA.  Or possibly against them.

Even games where the visiting colors seem to out weigh the home colors two to one, there are always louder cheers for the home team's successes.

More than just color of shirt, a lot of it has to do with behavior.  Visiting fans are dicks, not to put too fine a point on it.  They are there as much to root for their team as to root against the local team, and piss off the local fans.  They cheer way too loudly for absolutely anything, and go out of their way to taunt the local fans.

This is just human nature; they're feeling like outsiders and like they are getting away with something, and are all hyped up.  So they act out more.  Since they cheer hysterically for anything good, when they really do have something to cheer for they go totally berserk, making a disproportionate amount of noise.

Their carrying on awakens a feeling of/desire for competition by the home team fans, who cheer back, or try to drown out the chants of the visiting team fans.  But it's always just a defensive reaction, rather than going on the offensive, and is therefore never quite as lusty.

Which team is better or is winning almost doesn't matter. If one team is being whacked, the fans of that team are more likely to shut up, or turn to desperate taunting, but they'll be drowned out in volume every time.  And when it's a blow out is when you always get fights, since people don't really care if they get booted since they're not enjoying watching a close game anyway.  Or it's late in the game and they've seen most of it already.  Or they're spoiling for a fight after a long game of seeing their team whack or get whacked.

December 8, 2002

I'm working today, at the annual Chargers vs. Raiders game.  It's usually pretty chaotic, with tons of belligerant trouble-making Raider fans coming to cheer their team and piss off Chargers fans.  And plenty of Chargers fans are angry red neck type guys (frequently Mexican red necks) who are quite willing to rumble. Hopefully the game will be relatively close, since close games never have any/many fights.  Blow outs are when you get brawls, since one side is taunting mercilessly and the other side is pissed, and the game isn't providing much of a distraction with the score lopsided.

The worst fights I ever saw at a football game were 6 or 7 years ago when the Philly Eagles were good, and Buddy Ryan was coaching.  They were all cocky and swaggering and brought out the worst in their fans as well.  The Eagles played the week before in LA or SF or someplace on the west coast (I don't remember) and the players voted to stay in Cali the whole week between games, rather than flying back to the miserable winter weather in Philly.

So they were in San Diego the whole time, relaxing, planning to easily beat the crappy local team, etc.  Huge mobs of Philly fans showed up at the game, whole sections in green.  And against all odds, the Chargers killed them.  It was like 28-6 in the 3rd quarter, and my god were there fights.

I don't enjoy seeing fights, personally. I don't see the attraction of two or three drunks shoving each other and screaming curses, before throwing a couple of clumsy roundhouses and then getting each other in a headlock.

I'm in the small minority on that though, since any time there's anything approaching a fight, virtually everyone turns to watch it, totally ignoring anything that might be happening on the field.  You know, the sporting event that you paid $100 or more for a ticket to see?

In any event, I plan on being gone today by the end of the third quarter, regardless of the score.  Just in case.

September 30, 2002

Working at pro football games is different than other events. The crowd is always much more amped up; any normal football game is equivalent to a playoff baseball game, and the sport itself is so vastly more exciting and tense than baseball.  Every play can be the one that determines the game, and there aren't pitchers taking 45 seconds per pitch, throwing to first constantly, talking to the catcher, and other boring things that are a way of life in baseball.

Football you must duck down every play, since people will kill you if you block their view. It's pretty easy to do so though, since the plays are always about one every 50 seconds with lots of 3 or 4 minute TV time outs.  You get used to the rhythm of the action and learn when to duck down by the crowd noise and body language, and usually I'm selling something so kneeling or sitting in an aisle as I want for money to be passed over.

Years ago I'd try to see every play, or at least most of them, but the thrill has long since worn off, and now I just duck down. I do enjoy a good play, and I'll turn towards the field if possible, but if I'm looking the other way most of the time and don't really worry about it.

It's almost as exciting as it sounds.

August 26, 2002

One thing that's not exactly exciting to me at this point, but may be of interest to others are the Marines at the stadium.

Most every Sunday, big groups of recruits, just out of boot camp, come to the Padre game.  They are in a huge group, all in their camouflage uniforms, all sitting together. They have Drill Instructors with them, for the requisite shouting and keeping them in line, and they buy absolutely everything in sight.

The guys (always male) are all the typical young recruits; 18 or 19 generally, and from all over the country.  They've just finished basic training at Camp Pendleton, which is about 60 miles north of here, in Oceanside, and the game is the first chance they've had for non-military rations in 8 or 10 weeks, and the first chance they've had to spend money on anything in just as long.

Predictably, they go nuts.  Anything sweet, pizza, hot dogs, CrackerJack, ice cream, soda, nachos, etc.  The guys probably go through $40 or more a piece on every sort of stadium food.

Of course they have to run about 30 miles in full gear the next day, so they do pay for it, but at least for one day they have some fun.

I was selling Frozen Lemonade yesterday, which comes in cups for $3.25, and is sort of a harder slurpee.  You eat it with a spoon.  The Marines didn't buy that much of it, they were mostly hitting the frozen Snickers and Big Kahunas (ice cream cookie sammich things), but there were still plenty of them who wanted my crap.  And the other 7 guys selling frozen lemonade were all crowded into the same area also.

Of the 17 loads I sold, probably 15.5 were to the Marines.  They were three sections out of the entire stadium, and probably 600 out of 15,000 people.  Yet they accounted for 90% of my sales, and it was probably much the same for the other guys.

So aside from their ravenous eating habits, how are they?  Well, I don't exactly get to know them in my five second interaction per sale, but they are as they've always been.  Young, polite (they all say "yes sir"), quick with the money (all have their cash ready at hand, and often have exact change once they've burned up their initial $20s), and they don't bitch if you're blocking their view for a minute.  Years ago I would get uptight about them, like it was this symbol of the evil military complex, what if they could smell my dissent!  I don't give that a thought anymore; they're just a bunch of kids who signed up after high school, they're thrown together from all over the country, and are young and not too sure what they're going to do in life.

Sorry, no profound philosophical insights there.

All site content copyright "Flux" (Eric Bruce), 2002-2007.