THE RABBIT PEARL ROTATING VIBRATOR features a 7" space age cock with the internal pearl-driven rotation, THAT GOES IN BOTH DIRECTIONS! Plus a rabbit-shaped clit stimulator with its own internal vibrating egg for an unmatched clitoral massaging action! Combine these features with the NEW EASY-TO-USE external hand controller for the Best Orgasm of your life. You will wonder how you managed all those years without one!

This isn't the exact brand that's being recalled, but it's obviously a rip off of the same concept.  The point seems to be that it's a rotating plunger device, attached to a vibrating rabbit-shaped shaft.  The rabbit ears are flexible and soft, for clitoral stimulation (keep that in mind next time you're stabbing at your gf's little man in the boat like you're trying to sink it) and the beads in the shaft do... something.

I don't see how they'd work exactly.  I guess they provide a contoured feeling, molding to your internal shape better than the traditional "molded veins" dildo construction. Yes men, we're pretty well obsolete at this point.

The study of female sex toys can illustrate many truths.  For one thing, women are a goddamned puzzle.  You see a male sex toy?  Most men have no need for one, being as their hands are more than sufficient for the task.  The ones you do see are either molded latex of the "pocket pussy" type, or else the somewhat frightening penis pumps, that look way too much like some sort of Bobbitizer, in my opinion.  I've never used any of these, tragically.

You don't see male ones that have multi-vibrating attachments, testicle-ticklers, prostate-massagers, and heating and vibrating action all in one.  Men just don't need that; we'd probably orgasm in about 10 seconds with that level of stimulation.  It's very seldom for a man that "I take too long to come" is a big complaint. The main problem is that men are hornier, and have a much larger surface area to stimulate.  Even the smallest penis is far larger than a clitoris, and since very few women can get off from vaginal stimulation alone, they've got to try and concentrate their stimulation on a far smaller spot.  I'm not going to get into nerve ending counts, but a comparison I once heard was that a man should try masturbating by stimulating nothing but one half of the very tip of his penis, and see how easy it was.

So men have it easier, in terms of getting off, and their sex toys reflect that.  Almost all the male ones are basically a hole that you insert yourself into.  Yes, there are male dildo-shaped vibrators and butt plugs and cock rings, but for the most part it's a hole, and you put your dick into it.  The only real breakthrough in male toys is that some of them allow hands-free operation, or at least remove the need for a stroking movement. I'm not including Real Dolls in this listing, since they're like a whole 'nother level, designed more for mental stimulation than the actual physical sensations. That and they're creepy.

Female toys, on the other hand, have more technology than the Apollo Space Program.  The old days of rubber dildos are long gone.  Now everything is made of some sort of space age material, warms to body temperature, and tends to have several individual motors.  Men don't come with these parts.  Men have a rubbery dildo-like attachment that generally can't remain firm for all that long, big clumsy motor oil-stained fingers, and an easily-exhausted tongue that unlike rabbit ears, comes with taste buds and an unfortunate proximity to the nose.  Neither of which are conducive to long term use in the manner and location women would most like the attendant tongue applied.  So are men inferior to a good rabbit-ear vibrator?  Sexually yes, but good luck getting the rabbit-eared vibrator to mow the lawn or buy you shoes, honey.

One reassuring (to men) feature of sex toys is that you never see any female dildos advertised as "painfully large".  In fact most of them are pretty modest in size, and the ones with butterfly or rabbit ear attachments don't appear to be more than 4 or 5 inches long.  They say they are 7 or 8 inches, but that's including the shaft below the rabbit attachment, which is a rip off, since you can't use that part anyway.

This gives evidence that women don't necessarily need to feel direct pressure on their appendix to be satisfied.  The only problem is that they (women) do very much tend to prefer a larger penis.  I've written about this before, but in my informal surveys, results are running around 98% who say that size very much does matter.  Women can and will dump guys who have small dicks.  Now if they are deeply in love they'll obviously put up with less than man-donkey, but they would prefer larger.

So why don't they buy fireplace-log sized dildos?

• Men don't come with vibrating clit stimulators that can function at the same time as the penis, so need all the size they can get?
• It's psychologically sexy to have a big man, but who cares what size a toy is?
• A big toy would stretch them out, making the inevitably-inadequate men they settled for even less satisfying?
• They'd feel like a goddamned whore?

It could be any or none of the above.  I don't have an answer for it myself. If any female readers (or men who are good at pretending) want to write in and give me their opinion, I'll be happy to take it under consideration.