ometimes police work and law-breaking is serious business. And sometimes it's not. This page collects blog mentions of silly, wacky, ridiculous, idiotic stuff that cops have to deal with.

More recent additions are added on top.

March 11, 2003

A couple of items from the police blotter for Anacortes, Washington. It's way out in the sticks, if you're wondering. The top item is quite funny.

The man became confrontational and argued with the driver. He denied that an accident took place, even though the van was wedged against the truck's tire and the vehicles had matching scratches.

After some discussion with the officer, the man said that he didn't believe that he hit the truck -- but if he did, there wasn't any damage.

When asked for his insurance card, the man angrily snapped that he can't get insurance. He admitted that his license had been canceled in July, 2002, because he was unable to safely pass a driving test.

Neither the man nor his wife had a valid license and they had no one to pick up the van, so the officer impounded the vehicle. Police arranged for the Senior Center to send its van to transport the couple home, as they both needed canes to assist with their mobility. The man got into the Senior Center's vehicle without incident.

The woman, however, refused to get out of the Lumina. She said she would go with her van.

The officer spent a great deal of time trying to coax the indignant woman out, while she asked him if she was in Germany and if he was a Nazi. She also accused the world of turning against people when they turn 80.

I love how matter of factly they present the information.  "...she asked him if she was in Germany and if he was a Nazi."

I can just see the poor cop sighing.  "No ma'am, we are in Washington, not Germany.  No ma'am, I am not a Nazi.  You should try being black and 17 if you want to learn about being treated like I'm a Nazi."

And I love the fact that the old guy failed a driving test, despite, no doubt, being given multiple opportunities at it. Somehow that made no impression on him. In his mind, he's still an excellent driver, and the fact that he's now run into a parked van doesn't factor in either. Plus he's got his wife there to give his delusions back up, 

There's one down further that was great also.

Police were called to aid an individual who was sprawled in a lot at Commercial and 22nd Street.

The man, who had apparently been dropped there by a white SUV-type vehicle, had vomited and wet all over himself. He roused himself enough to tell an officer that he had consumed three beers, which was cool because he was 19. But he added that he was unable to move from his current position on the ground.

ID proved that the man was only 17. He couldn't say who he was drinking with or where, explaining, "It's all a blur." He was unable to stand without assistance.

He asked the officer to remove his handcuffs, but the officer noted that the cuffs had been removed about five minutes earlier so the teen could continue vomiting. He was released to his father and faces a charge of underaged drinking.

I'm so glad that i'm not a cop, I could just not deal with the stupid junkie drunk white trash that you have to scoop off the streets every day. I love that, "Take off the cuffs man, I gotta puke!"

"I took the cuffs off five minutes ago so you could puke, sir."

"Oh.  Well alright then." *pukes*

I could so not be a cop. I'd maybe be okay as a detective, investigating and interrogating and such, but I could never be a regular cop. I just don't have the patience to put up with all the bullshit from average idiots. I'd just shoot someone, or give some much-needed stick time to grandpa in this first story, or junior in the second one. The job really should pay better, given how much shit one has to put up with to do it well.

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