ard though it may be to believe, there really are a few differences between men and women. Yes, I know, you hear so little about that in other forms of media.  Nevertheless, since the topic comes up from time to time in my blogs, I wanted an articles page to archive the results. And this is it.

This page will occasionally contain news of actual physical confrontation, but you're much more likely to find news items or personal ponderings about differences in male/female attitudes about sex, relationships, and that sort of thing.

More recent additions are added to the top of the page.

May 4, 2003

Interesting article on how male and female brain types differ, with tests to see how you stand. The tests aren't very good; both are very redundant with about a dozen questions on each covering the same thing from slightly different angles, which makes them tedious.  They should have cut about 20 questions from each test and just left in three or four representative ones, and weighted them heavily.

Anyway, I scored a 34 on the EQ test, and 24 on the SQ test.  Which means I'm less sensitive to emotions than most men and far less than women (EQ), and less interested in how things work than most men, and about equal to how most women are (SQ).

I think the EQ one is probably suspect, since most people *want* to think of themselves as empathic and sensitive and caring, and will say that yes, of course they help strangers feel welcome, and feel terrible at disasters on the news, etc.  When they really don't give a shit, and they were making jokes about Osama Bin Laden's favorite football team (The New York Jets) by October 2001.  My point being that they probably answer the test questions how they want to be, rather than how they really are.  Which puts the averages much higher than reality would suggest.

Because no one else is honest.  Just me.  Yes, that's it.

April 22, 2003

I've been talking to a couple of women lately, and have talked to others in the past, about their sexual desires, when they do not have a boyfriend. (Or girlfriend, same thing, though none I've talked to are lesbians.)  Namely, how often do they need "release", what do they think about when they do it, and how they think they compare to men in that aspect of life.

Generally speaking (as I'll be doing for the rest of this essay) women masturbate a lot less than men do.  This probably isn't a surprise to anyone to hear.  What's odd about it (from my male perspective) is that the women don't feel like this is a loss or a self-deprivation.  They are able to sort of shut off the sexual thoughts/feelings, and just not be bothered by it for days or weeks (or months in some cases).  Oh, they'll think about sex or get aroused from time to time, but they don't have a need for regular orgasms, the way most men seem to.

When the women do masturbate, it's generally a lot more involved than when men do it. By that I mean that the women think about someone they are interested in, or knew in the past, or a celebrity, or whatever.  And they really enjoy it, mentally as well as physically. It's almost like sex, with a full body tensing and release and relaxation afterwards.

On the contrary, my impression is that for most men, wanking is almost like scratching an itch.  You get itchy, you scratch it, you go on with your day. There's not much reflection or contemplation or emotional involvement. Sure, it feels good, but there's not a lot of thought involved, and no emotional attachment.

I guess you could say that women wank a lot less, but enjoy it a lot more when they do.

I'm generalizing a lot, and I'm sure both genders have many exceptions to the rule, but just play along for now.

On another topic (this relates, just wait a minute) women are very well known to be more emotional.  More in touch with their emotions, or more soft-hearted, or however you want to look at it. They cry over things that don't seem like a big deal to most men; dead pets, parking tickets, minor arguments with their boyfriend, etc. I'm not criticizing, just filling in background information.

Or you can look at this from the other PoV, and determine that men are emotionally dead.  They don't cry over anything, or hardly anything, and feel like wimps when they do. They bottle up their emotions and let them out very seldom, with the possible exception of rage.  And it seems at times like their only emotion is rage, and that all of their worry, loneliness, sadness, love, compassion, etc, gets bottled up for so long that it turns to a foul stew of fury, and comes trickling out as passion, but only in inappropriate ways.  "You took my parking space! I'll knock your fucking teeth out, motherfucker!"

Admittedly, none of these observations is especially ground-breaking. What I thought of that made this worth posting (in my opinion, anyway) is how these states connect.

It seems sort of contradictory, at first.  Women are more emotional and in touch with their feelings, and yet they can just turn off the horniness or desire, for months.  Men are less in touch with their emotions, but are always horny and need regular release.

Shouldn't women be horny all the time, since they're aware when they are sad or happy or excited?  And shouldn't men be less horny, since they spend so much time and effort ignoring and suppressing their emotions?

Possibly.

However the connection I see that makes the actual state of affairs somewhat logical is this: Women aren't interested in wanking, since it's emotionless.  They like sex when it's emotional, loving, exciting, aggressive, whatever. But it has to be something.  They don't just want the physical sensations, they want the whole mental and emotional involvement. And they can't get that wanking, or can't get more than a pale reflection of it. So they just turn off the sexual desire, since they can't get it fulfilled properly.

I'm not saying the women make a conscious decision to not think about sex since they don't want to be horny since just an orgasm isn't enough since they need emotion to enjoy it fully so they'd rather just not have one at all. But perhaps subconsciously that's going on.  Or else I'm just inventing a logical trail to explain instinctive behavior that has no logic to it.

So how about men? Men are so busy bottling up their emotions that they don't really feel anything other than often-inappropriate anger, or some excitement or thrill when their favorite sports team (or army) wins a game/battle.  Perhaps for such emotionless brutes, wanking is the only time they really feel alive, with a pure rush of emotion triggered by the physical stimulation?  And it's not just the "feels good" that men are so eager for, but the pure emotional burst that comes along for the ride?

All site content copyright "Flux" (Eric Bruce), 2002-2007.