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2003 Grammy Photos | |||||||||||
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The Grammies were held Sunday night in NYC, and as usual, I paid them absolutely zero attention. A bunch of soft rock, pop and R&B acts won, and there was almost no sign of anything approaching actual rock and roll. But then you knew that already, if you've turned on Mtv within the last five years. I generally do these photo things on a sub page, but half the readers don't bother to click to it, and I don't really have a big essay percolating in me today, so I'll just put them here, since I'm not going to go over my bandwidth allotment for February, and the month is almost over. My captions and comments are above each shot, the official wire caption and photo credit is below them. And yes, I'm bitter and jealous and hate everyone. And yes again, pretty much the entire Band Names section is just like the rest of this page, but with fewer photos and more lies. Okay, Howard doesn't look all that bad here, though it's a bit too curly, I think. But how about Beth? I mean Jesus Christ, she's off the charts. Hair, body, face, etc. I don't like how her face and neck are sort of a beige, while her body is pink, and she needs better eye liner to get that Nicole Kidman electric eye thing going. And red lipstick isn't really her color. but still, damn. My question about her always, other than why isn't she more famous and what the hell is she doing dating Howard Stern, is why didn't she have a manager force her to change her name? I think half of her lack of supermodel success is the last name. "Ostrosky" is just about the worst hot chick name ever.
Wow. That's like every mink in Canada there.
She's really quite an attractive woman.
So you're thinking, "Lenny Kravitz's little brother?" And then you see the caption which is a nonsense name, and then you see, "her". And you think, "huh?" The flag football belt is a nice touch. Remember when female singers were hot? There must be a Britney picture around here somewhere.
In yet more evidence of how blissfully unaware I am of any current trends in pop music, I had never even heard of this woman before reading a news item about her Grammy wins. I'm sure she'll rapidly vanish into the same obscurity that claimed the other two women listed in the caption. She looks very sweet and small townish, more like an intern than a rock star. Her dad is some sort of famous sitar player, which might sound like an oxymoron, but is not in India. Yes, the sitar, the only thing to do more damage to the Beatles than Yoko.
Eh. I've had better. No woman has ever managed more than a 7 in cargo pants. And didn't Alicia used to be black? Also how can the market support so many dozens of basically identical soft rock/pop half-R&B female solo acts? The fad has got to buckle under its own low-rider bellbottomed weight in another 2 or 3 years. With any luck.
Wait wait, she is black. So WTF is that last picture? They Michael Jackson her between show and after show picture time? Then again, anyone next to Cyndi Lauper is going to look pretty damn tan.
In case you were wondering what happened to the Spice Girls. And yes, this was more than I needed to see also. Not one of them is sexy. Not one. Well, maybe the far left, who seems to be lacking the trowel-applied make up. I'm not even sure the two kneeling are women, to be perfectly honest. Especially not the one on the right.
Just in case you were wondering who was the worst-dressed of the entire show. Wasn't "Foxxy Brown" the name of one of those old Pam Grier Blacksploitation movies?
So I'm going through the pictures, wondering if there was a single rock band on the entire show? No, the perpetually-straining Bruce Springsteen doesn't count, and Coldplay sure as hell doesn't. And then I see this shot of the Foo Fighters winning for best hard rock performance. The Foo Fighters. They aren't horrible, and are a step above the really wimpy AAR crap like Dave Matthews... but um... hard rock performance? The last hard rock song any of these guys played had Kurt Cobain on vocals. So I went and looked up the full nominee listing for this category, and I've heard and sort of like every song but the Foo Fighters one, since the only radio I listen to is classical and rock, and they don't play the Foo Fighters on the rock station... since it's not hard rock! Do the Dave Grohl sympathy votes go on forever? And Courtney thought she was helping her career when she had Kurt killed.
There is an actual metal award, but you won't find a single photo of it on the entire 250 shot Yahoo slide show, other than a couple of pics of Korn arriving, and one of Fred Durst, who is a borderline inclusion. Here are the nominees.
Korn won. Anyway, here's the overdressed hard rocking Foo Fighters. Grunge fashion lives on, at least for that one blonde guy.
Yes, she was a refreshing change from the Britney's of the world, and she's got the eye shadow Beth Ostrosky is missing, but I think we're all about sick of her by now.
Gwen is never quite hot, but you've got to give her credit for trying hard, and for being so proudly flat as a board, in these days of monthly implant adjustments.
And that's it for another year's Grammys. At least the photos of it. I'll actually watch this pop, pop, and more pop awards show as soon as I'm nominated for an award on it. The scariest news is that with over 250 Grammy photos, there is not one of Britney falling out of her dress, or Christina Aguilera showing up without one on. In fact neither of them are represented at all. Yes, this is one of the signs of the apocalypse. And remember, the fact that I dislike the music that 98% of Americans buy doesn't make me right... It just makes them wrong. |
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