rior to our sex life beginning, Malaya and I were both somewhat curious about condoms, and wanted to try out a variety of them, and write about our experiences. I've always wondered if those "ribbed for her pleasure" rubbers make any real difference (for either partner), if the super thin condoms feel any different, if the larger size ones fit differently, if the ones with special looser fit heads work better, etc. Since we were going to have sex, and wanted to do it in a variety of ways, we figured why not do that, and combine it with a reviews page, and satisfy our curiosity as well?

Clever plans aside, the reality has been more like, "We got tested and know we're safe and monogamous, so why bother fooling around with condoms when neither of us much likes the feel of them?"  Which is why we did one condom road test, didn't have much to say about it, and have never returned to the subject in the year since then.

n'me.

More recent ridiculous things will be added on top of the page.

June 18, 2003

This isn't the sort of full review I may be posting later; this is just a capsule discussion of generalities off the top of my head.  Full roadtests, if I actually write them, will be written in conjunction with Malaya, giving both of our reactions to them and our pros and cons.

So after a lot of "normal" sex, I.E. the type that we both went and got AIDS/STD tested prior to engaging in, yesterday we had a couple of hours before Malaya was off to her personal trainer session at the gym.  And as so often happens, we got to making out and embracing and were soon motivated to adjourn to the bed chamber, where clothing was removed and events proceeded as they generally do.

If you're wondering what "they generally do" means, try and remember that scene you saw one time in that movie before mommy covered your eyes and made those "tisk tisk" sounds.

The condom of choice for the afternoon's entertainment was one I'd had lying around for a while, a basic un-lubricated Trojan.  Latex colored, not bigger or smaller than usual, no nubbies for her pleasure, not extra thin or thick, etc. Just the very plain vanilla rubber, which we wanted to try first as a sort of control test.

Well technically I suppose barebacking is the "control" test, but let's overlook that for now, shall we?

Anyway, Little Flux was in a "we can't take you anywhere" state, and Little Malaya was feeling relatively receptive, so we moved pretty much directly to the main event.

Which went about as every "sex with a condom" experience of my life has gone.

God I hate condoms. Why the hell am I ruining my sex life with them now that I no longer need to?

Oh wait, sorry, zoned out or a minute there.

Anyway, as I was saying, it was different.  Basically it reminded me of why I find the whole concept of those sensation-deadening condoms so ridiculous.  I want a condom with internal hot sauce, since I can feel enough to realize that I'm having sex when I'm wearing one... but only just. My difficulty is always in um... shall we say, "staying viable."  Never in trying to hold back.

Malaya found it somewhat interesting since I was able to just hammer away full throttle in any position, pretty much indefinitely.  That's "interesting" in the "oh shit I can't even walk straight" way.

Hit the buzzer when this moves into the TMI range, okay?

Anyway, the beauty of our condom testing is that it's like testing a gas mask with a lot of burning incense around.  You can see if it works, but if you don't like wearing it, you can just take it off and keep breathing.

And that's what we did. If you get my drift.

Future rubber roadtests (assuming there are such things) will use other varieties of condoms and go more for a scientific approach, in terms of tactile sensation, bells and whistles, aesthetic pleasure, and more.  Stay tuned.

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