merican Idol is the current TV hit of the summer.  I've not seen a second of it, but it's been getting a lot of magazine and internet coverage, as much for the judges as for the talent on it.  The show concept, if you're not familiar with it, is that a ton of amateur talent tried out for the show, and the best of them get to appear on the show, where they do a sort of Karaoke of some famous song, and are judged on it. There are three judges, all music biz people, and also viewers can call in and vote for their favorites.  Apparently the viewers pick the winners in the later rounds, which should, in theory, make style and appearance and stage presence as or more important than actual singing ability.  Just like real rock and roll.  The winner gets a recording contract, and all the rest of them get invaluable publicity, plus they get to be on TV, which seems to be the most burning desire of your average America these days.

Much of the media coverage has been for the judges, who apparently comment on the performance after each person has their go.  The judges are Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell.  Their names here are linked to their bio page on the Fox official site.

Yes, that Paula Abdul.  Yes, I thought any relation she'd have to this show would be in the form of entering it as well.  Maybe she knows someone at Fox.  Maybe she hummed her way through half the Fox executives.  Or both.  Anyway, Simon is a UK record company guy, and his label is putting up the prize, signing the winner to a $1m record contract.  I don't know what that means exactly; is that what they are paid?  What's spent on recording and promoting them?  Just a nice big number to throw up and get publicity for? Whatever.

Simon is getting most of the press, since he's mean and nasty to people.  Or bluntly-honest, as he describes it.  Paula and Randy are milquetoast, doing nothing but saying, "Don't be so mean." when Simon lays it out there.  Do a google search on say, "Simon Cowell is mean" and see the number of articles that pop up. Read any one and you're fine, since they all say the same thing.

"That was terrible, I mean just awful," he told a contestant in the first episode. When Jackson suggests she take singing lessons, Simon dismisses the advice. "You have to have a talent to progress it. I don't believe Cassandra has a singing talent. She's completely wasting her money. Sorry."

To another singer: "My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't."

And another: "Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf."

That makes it sound cool, almost worth watching (though it's already over) but go read Simon's bio on the official show page.  It's disgusting.  His entire success is based on boy bands and other garbage one-hit wonders. Which makes him qualified to judge talent because... ?

I've heard lately that the UK popular music scene is just a disgrace.  Even worse than America; all the top selling acts are disposable shit like Oasis and Coldplay and boy bands and novelty ballad singers.  No real rock and roll of any type, nothing heavy, nothing original.  I can't verify that personally, but I've seen it mentioned in articles of late.

Simon has had obscene success signing winners of the UK version of the show also.  The winner and the second place guy in the UK version were both signed (the winner as the show's prize, the second place guy since they thought he was good enough and would sell with the free publicity) and both had #1 debut singles in the UK.

With the debut release of Will Young's double A-side, Evergreen/Anything Is Possible, records were broken for the biggest single ever with sales nearing an unbelievable 2 million (1.8 to be exact!) Will Young occupied the top spot for 3 weeks stepping down 4 weeks later for Gareth Gates, who consequently is now the youngest British male to get a solo Number 1. With his debut single, Unchained Melody, Gareth Gates shifted an amazing 1 million records in the first week (not bad for a runner up, hey!) and also became the second fastest-selling debut of all time.

Obviously they are hoping for similar success on this US version of the show, so Simon has some incentive to weed out the garbage, since he's putting up his own money to promote whatever idiot wins.  This seems a weird state of affairs, with him having such strong opinions, and then all of his acts are the pre-packaged image-sells crap that 14 y/o girls buy. I don't associate them with any sort of talent required, but apparently he does. Perhaps he feels a need to put on a really strong act, in order to dispel perceptions like mine?

Anyway, the contest is over and the winner was the girl who looks slightly like a younger Sheryl Crowe. I have no idea what she sounds like, and with any luck will never find out. You can see all of the finalists on the Fox page here.  Check out their bios with their favorite songs and what they've sung.  Then ask yourself, "What the hell happened to rock and roll?"

Now let us never speak of this again.

All site content copyright "Flux" (Eric Bruce), 2002-2007.