http://www.27bslash6.com/bellymessage.html

 

A prime reason I don't spend much time/effort on emails before moving to at least a phone call, and ideally that's only a way to check for massive horribleness before moving to some kind of in person meeting. That's mostly to avoid time vampires, since I've found there's almost no predicting in person chemistry and dynamics from emails, so there's essentially no point in spending time on emails before I know if we're going to click face to face. And I'm not there to make penpals.

As for scams, I've not had anyone try anything that amusing. The scams I've seen are when I get a wink or a very short message from a "woman" who has a model-pretty photo (almost always just one), often in a foreign country (China, quite often) and very little personal info in her profile.

If I reply (through the anonymous dating service mail function) I get a short message asking for my email so we can talk privately. I've never bothered to play along any further to see what kind of Nigerian 419, mail-order bride, whatever, they're trying to run.

The tricky thing is that I have met, in person, 6 or 8 really pretty women through this service. They were the woman in their photos. So it's not like all "too good to be true" possibilities actually are too good to be true. I don't imagine I'd ever write on my tummy and send out the photos, though. At least not before a personal meeting. *cough*

 

Is it possibly an age thing? As I sit here in my mid-30s, I feel pretty confident that I can talk to women. I would even feel comfortable, now, approaching attractive women that I probably wouldn't have dared to 10 years ago (not that it would matter now, what with a growing bald spot and an extra 30 pounds). But back then...I really wouldn't have. Heck, I remember a couple of times (seared into my memory, unfortunately) of attractive women approaching me at bars but I was too shy/clueless to act on it. By the time I met my wife, I must have been getting better-or something. As usual, youth is wasted on the young.

But I had a similar experience with online dating, where my wife had like 5 dates in 7 days, whereas I wasn't getting 5 dates in a year. And while I eventually won the courtship, as she related stories about her other dates (one guy spent like two hours talking to her about his military vehicle model collection, or something like that) I couldn't help but be underwhelmed. *THAT* was my competition? Why did it take me so long again?

Anywho, the good news, Flux, is that it only takes one. I consider myself very happily married, with zero interest in entering the dating scene again. (Wait...I'm a guy. OK, 1%)

[Security word is "pologemi," which kind of looks like polygamy.]

 

A few years ago, I came up with a little experiment. I found a picture of an attractive girl and made a fake account on plentyoffish.com. I didn't send any emails, I just waited for them to come to me. It was fascinating. All my self-doubt went out in the window after about 10 emails.

If you ever have a few spare minutes and want a laugh/educational experience, I suggest trying that. Just being able to type a coherent sentence puts you in the top 1 percentile.